The Song Of The Universe

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction

You are my Soul
To Jachil
Song for the Earth
A Path of Light
I Shall Never Taste
The Beloved
The Beloved: A Reply
Elegy for Kathy
Elegy for Lahe
The Dark Moon I
The Dark Moon II
Atlantean Memories
Her Eyes
In Your Hands
In Pablo Neruda’s Footsteps
Too Much to Ask
One Day
Hold Me One Last Time
You are within my Soul
Sings from her Heart
I am the Wolverine
The Werewolf, For Shea
My Opposite
For Debra
The Bee
I Speak With Trees
St. Patrick and the Elves
To My Beloved
Song of the Sea
The Undine
An Undine’s Prayer
The Feeling of a Woman
Women and the Sea
Psalm for the Sea
Song of Fire
My Lover
Itumo
The Pools of Makapu’u
The Goddess Dawn
The Goddess of the Cauldron
The Song of Psyche
Sex
Orion
A Celtic Prayer
A Request
My Life Koan
The Cosmic Letter UE
The Cosmic Letter U
Song of Baleem
Jacob’s Angel
The Goddess of the Earth
The Goddess of Compassion
A Psalm of Praise (To St. Columba)
Vehuiah--What is Like Unto God?
For Ebvep
My Consort--To Hagiel
Your Soul
Samhuinn

An Essay--How to Write a Poem

INTRODUCTION

All of the poems in this book were written under the inspiration of a Muse which the earthzone spirit Zagriona found for me. I had not written poetry in many years, but after a few meditations with Zagriona I felt compelled to write poems every day. I would wake from sleep and have to write. I would write with tears falling from my eyes. I would write speaking of feelings I have never felt in this life.

This Muse is somewhat unusual. Let me comment on this. In life, most of us have difficulties of some kind with relationships. We all know what it is to feel close to another person. Some have felt at times that they are one with the other person. Love involves joining and union.

Nonetheless, even the greatest lovers have to solve problems on a conscious level. We have different ways of thinking, different experiences, different expectations, hopes, dreams, and desires. In a real relationship, solving problems and overcoming conflicts requires conscious activity. You have to talk and communicate with each other. You have to explain your differences, negotiate, and form agreements.

But the conscious mind also has severe limitations. We have personal boundaries and these boundaries protect us from excessive pain, vulnerability, and from being helpless. A bardic magician or a poet skilled in magick, however, can temporarily suspend or overcome these limitations and boundaries. We expect this from art and magick--it should be able to tell us what it is to cross over into the unknown and return. It should be able to tell us what it is to be so consumed by love that nothing of the self remains.

In one version of the story, Merlin taught King Arthur as a child to transfer his mind into every animal and this so he could understand other’s motives and so rule effectively as a king. In basic magick training, you learn to project your mind into every aspect of nature, into other human beings, and every kind of spirit. You do this so you can serve, so the inspiration of Divine Providence overflows from your heart.

For my Muse, there seems to be this rule: you are free to join with and become one with any being, spirit, or thing in the universe in order to fulfill the purposes of love. In this joining, there is no separation. There is only oneness. This means that at least in terms of feelings, intuition, energy, and perspective, two individuals or spirits temporarily can so unite that all their memories, their abilities, their sensations, and modes of consciousness are completely available to each other.

If you consider human lovers, even the best, there is this incredible jealously and selfishness which exists when they attain oneness with each other. Because when they taste that oneness and bliss of union, they are also simultaneously in that moment extremely vulnerable. This degree of intimacy, if violated, would subject them to great pain and also a loss of personal power--a feeling of betrayal, defeat, and helplessness.

But this instinct of self-preservation is understandable. Most individuals’ self-awareness derives from being a member of a society. They do not identify with stars, black holes, the emptiness of space, the elements of nature, and light in every vibration both visible and invisible. But my Muse does. For him, there is only oneness. He is there for every being in the universe. It matters not to what galaxy, planet, or race they belong.

In a story I wrote about an ancient bard, this Muse speaks these words to the poet, “Was not the constellation of Aquarius placed within the sky to remind every being of friendship? Does not Aquarius exist so that when one heart calls out to another, a kindred spirit may be found even amid the darkest wilderness? And is there not a life form dwelling within the oceans of your world, a species of whale which like nomads travel one to the North Pole and another to the South Pole? And if a whale losses its path, still, it is welcomed by the other band and journeys on to the other end of the world. Because of the loneliness you have endured, your songs shall arise from the hearts of stars and my blood shall mix with your own for we are now brothers.”

In the human world and in society, love is carefully defined and greatly restricted. There are no such restrictions in the spiritual world. Love is without limitation. It encompasses the universe and everything within it.

In a nutshell, my poems often derive from this perspective. Sometimes if only for a moment or instant, I am one with another person, spirit, or aspect of nature. All that it is and all that I am are perfectly joined--all memories, thoughts, feelings, energies, abilities--in that moment all that we are flows freely from heart to heart. This is a creative act and it naturally involves a joining of opposites. Whether this offends the laws of morality or not, it fulfills the purposes of love by reminding us that nothing is separate and ultimately we are all one.

I introduce many of the poems with explanations of how I wrote them, their source of inspiration, or the stories where I have placed them. Art serves a very important purpose for a magician. When you have sources of inspiration which are not recognized by traditional religions, it is especially important to find a way to share your experience. This is so you can avoid the acute isolation which arises from having profound and overwhelming experiences which few may understand. And in sharing you find others who desire to share in return. You create your own community and build a new place where the sacred is honored. Music, drawing, painting, sculpture, drama, stories, poetry, etc. are means through which this can be accomplished.

Nineteen of the fifty-nine poems in this book were written while meditating with various elemental beings or higher spirits. But for me, there is often little difference between interacting with human beings and interacting with spirits. I give a practical example of this in the essay at the end of this book called, How to Write a Poem. The poem in this essay was written while listening to a song sung by Karen Matheson. Writing a poem while meditating with a spirit can be done in exactly the same way.

THE SONG OF THE UNIVERSE

I awoke from a nap one year on Beltane and wrote the following poem. I sometimes like to place my poems within a mythical landscape in order to give them a home when it is clear to me that they do not belong to this world. It took me years, but I gave this poem to the consort of He’adra in the story, The Fall of Atlantis. He’adra was the most powerful magician to ever appear within human history and his consort was his inspiration. She speaks this poem to He’adra at the moment of her death--”when she awoke”--and as she begins a spiritual journey crossing many lifetimes until that day when she will find He’adra again.

You Are My Soul When she awoke she turned to me and said: You are my soul. My first breath in the light of dawn And all my dreams at night I dedicate to you, my Beloved. When I shove off and depart for unknown shores Your inspiration guides my craft Flows with force through my sails. You are the electricity in my heartbeat The separate fibers of my being Unite around my love for you, The surge, the pulse, the wave The circle of life within my body Ride upon my desire to hold you within my heart. My love for you is as deep as the sky More vast than the winds That caress the seas in ecstasy. Softer in flight Than the moon's light My body yields to you As I spiral and turn Caught in the currents Of your smile As I drift into a sea Of pure bliss When I enfold you in my arms. Desert sands of Haleakala Russet, crimson, citrine Parched, dry, burning Yearn with volcanic craving Solidified rock Once flowed molten, liquid Lit with tongues of flame, Yet Haleakala is but a small reflection A small reminder Of the fire with which I burn for your touch. Reflected in your eyes I become a purity Acid can not etch Time can not drown Space can not hide. I am luminous light The transparency Shining in all colors The dreams that yield their visions to me Of birth, of galaxies colliding, Of seas turning into wine These are your gifts to me When I hold you close to me at night. Back to Index * * *

This next poem also appears within the story, The Fall of Atlantis. He’adra writes it for his consort at the moment he is chosen as high priest of Atlantis. I wrote this poem while meditating with the earthzone spirit named Jachil who presides over the fourth degree of Cancer. Like many earthzone spirits, he specializes in human and divine love. I did not notice anything special about this poem until a friend emailed me and said she had framed it and placed it on her wall.

To Jachil When you are in my arms My wounds are healed My dreams fulfilled Our lips touch Moonlight illuminates your naked skin I no longer know who I am The sun glides through the sky Deer graze in the meadow I am mesmerized. The present moment fades The moon sets her sails to the solar wind My hands glide upon your skin The sun drowns as we kiss In the darkness of night to be reborn at dawn Our hips join As the stream winds through the crevice of the valleys Mirth and laughter splashing down As the sea enfolds the mountains in her depths The whale's song echoing through the hills Geese fly across the moon The leaves of birch trees shiver A solitary bird sings Cats' paws ripple upon the lake The gusts of wind pulsate Your breasts pressed against my chest Your love shapes my life As the hands of the sculptor Mold the clay, Closing her eyes The harpist plays The notes of the song within her heart. Back to Index *       *       *
I think of the Earth and every planet where there is life as a Goddess, as the consort of God, the Creator of the universe. No religion or world teacher may appear on this planet without Her permission. I sometimes meet Her in my dreams or when I am meditating.   She holds in Her heart the visions of what we are a race may attain.

Song for the Earth May peace be upon the Earth May Her beauty Be within me and radiate from me May I shine with Her light May She shine from my eyes May I speak from out of Her silence May She resonate from within my voice May I merge with Her lands May She flow without ceasing through my body and my hands May I never be separate from Her: From Her forests and Her mountains, From Her lakes, Her rivers, Her seas, From Her silence and Her mysteries. May every breath take me deeper within Her wisdom And may I always share in joyful Celebration With all those who are close to Her. Back to Index *       *       *

This poem also belongs to the story, The Fall of Atlantis, and was written by He’adra to his consort. As a writer of mythology, I imagine fantastic characters who do not belong to our world. But this poem was inspired by a real individual whose power and fate were more fascinating and complex than any character I had imagined in my stories.

A Path of Light Dream images flowing between our minds Our hearts searching for a higher love, a path of pure light But one holding the needs and passions of our bodies within it I feel so naked and lonely Wrap me about with your love With your sensual beauty That I can touch with my hands As I search for you amid The hills, ravines, and valleys of your skin One I can taste with my lips As I float in lakes and rest in meadows Hidden within sacred mountain domains As my mouth burns with ancient hungers And is soothed by your softness As you allow yourself to burn As my lips join with your breasts One I can smell as I lose myself in your hair Your arms, your thighs The aroma of liquor Flowers of delight within the oasis Within the gardens where you are the goddess One I can enter A moist wetness I can slide down into And forget my sorrow, One so caressing, so gentle, so tender You are willing to bind together the flames Rising, exploding, and imploding within our desire The Northern Lights, the stars and moonlight, Dawn and twilight, Green leaves, coral sunsets, the darkest nights, A sea with a thousand rainbow colors dancing upon it That all those journeys I took where I lost my way Will now dissolve They will be afraid of this love and flee They will depart from me forever As I touch your body and your skin As I touch your soul and the light within As our hearts reach out and shelter each other's. Back to Index * * *
Composed to the song, La Rosa Enforece in the album, Mystica Rosa by Theresa Schroeder-Sheker. This poem is from the story, The Bard, and was written by the warrior priest named Hirah. He composed it while observing the most sacred ritual in his world performed once every ten years. In the ritual, a young woman embodies the Goddess of the Earth during her dance.

I Shall Never Taste I saw a naked woman dancing a slow, hypnotic dance In a kingdom of my imagination so far away It is not found in any myth or religion. Your hips rising upon the air As a breath on a path of love Flies on wings to the heart of God. Your thighs circling, molded As a sea of sand dunes sculptured by the wind An intimate caress My palm will never find Flowing upon your skin. Your hips embraced By shadow and light Drinking as an elixir The secret places of your delight I shall never taste your lips Nor the rhythm of the sea Flowing around your thighs Though I drown in a sea of bliss Though ecstasy be my wine. Space itself curls and turns Lost on dark pathways Gateways Eternity can only find Within this moment As your body rising now descends. Your face moving mysteriously, eyes closed Yet lit from deep within Whispers names Of ancient powers men have long forgotten. Your hands, your fingers Adrift on the winds my soul will never know Sail as moonlight through white winters Sail as twilight through my dark desires. You hum, Your passion glistening on your skin And your scent Shakes me as you pierce me deep within My nerves scream like rivers running From the tallest mountains Evaporating and lost Amid the desert's red dunes Your body pulses The music undulating Enchanted by your skin My heart beats But I can not find the way, My soul sleeps, a lion in his jungle Still, I can find no rest Even as I hear The depths of your fullness Releasing in your breath Even as your voice Winds its way through my soul With more intimate caress Than a river shaping a valley Flowing upon its hills, Its granite cliffs, its secret pools. There is a candle A wick naked and exposed It burns furiously Inhaling the air Exhaling flames of desire Melting Darkness submits To worship upon this altar Your body Your hips whose play A wine Fermented from starry ecstasies My craft will never find The flame is red The flame is white The flame burns me With a delight I shall never taste. Magenta clouds at dawn strung out As islands across a sea As a necklace around your neck The Lord of the Winds With his soft, moist kiss Searches for your breasts With a devouring hunger The Lord of Light Casts his rays Into the sea of my sorrow And borrows my eyes To watch you dance And weeps at twilight For the sweetness My lips will never taste. Your hair drops upon your shoulders Flies around your neck The flowing, rippling, shimmering Of water in a falls Of smoke swirling in the wind Are not as wet Are not as dry As your hair Which burns, and freezes, and impales me With promises of what might have been Had we met And you yielded your love to me Its waves of bliss Its familiarity Your hair like rain Falling upon my face. I have entered a place Where men are forbidden to go A place of the soul A wilderness unknown Where breath can not flow The heart can not seek But it is clearly seen as you dance-- Your hips and thighs Caressing the air Your body sharing your innermost being Unfolding as you enfold this moment In circles, curls, and turns Rising and descending With a love I shall never know. If I could dance with you If I could walk upon the wind If I could bargain with the stars For breath to float my sails If I could sail through every dream As a sailor every sea And you are the sound of the sea When I am lost and lonely Guiding me by the light of stars The moon's silvery touch upon my skin Igniting me within As golden fires without limit Stumble intoxicated through the sky Having spied upon our love. Come dance with me I will be your consort, your guide, your soul, your love As you sing The winds of Eternity run their fingers through your hair-- Once we held hands by a well so long ago Your smile rode above the waves Like a bird migrating across countless lifetimes To return to me again And again, your soul, your song revives me As I sink into your heart And sleep and rest and dream As you caress my skin. Back to Index * * * I received a wonderful compliment for writing the next two poems. A lesbian said a man could not have written these poems. She said they were written instead by one women to another woman who was her lover.

Actually, the first poem was written the next morning at dawn the day after I had evoked the archangel Gabriel with a friend. Gabriel has the most wondrous way of combining sensuality and divinity. For this archangel, the two are one. After all, is Gabriel not the archangel who oversees time, space, and the unfolding of history? And did he not oversee the birth of Christ in human form? And have these gifts of sensory perception and history not been granted to us but to discover the divinity within ourselves?

I placed this poem within a story about Hirah and Parvan, two lovers who were the first on this planet to celebrate true love. I thought the theme appropriate for a poem inspired by an archangel who offers visions of love and fulfillment.

The Beloved
She said to me: "Say something sweet, kind, irresistible and seductive." I replied: If I were holding your hand Right now between my hands I feel I am reborn And I feel my body Slipping, sliding, sliding downward into your body-- A fire igniting Like the light of dawn penetrating down among a forest's shadows, Burning them away, turning them into pure light. And as I caress your belly, your soft belly, My palm drifting upon your skin, I sail as a bird upon the wind Searching across the oceans of your soul For new islands to call my home. And when I put my tongue into your navel-- I taste with my mouth one of the twelve fruits Of the Tree of Life (Which are for the healing of the nations), And this fruit, as I turn my tongue to and fro, Is a red pomegranate, But its taste is of peach and its taste is of springtime-- With fresh waters flowing from mountain snow-- Icy winter dissolving as I lick your navel, My mind turning and turning Here at the center of your being:        I flow into you and dream of new beginnings. And as I place my hands on each side of your waist Gently moving down across the curve of your hips-- I find myself in a dark forest at night Following the sound of one bird singing Singing to me of a dream I let fly away from me, escaping from my life to be free, But now it has returned, charmed by your beauty And by this touch upon your hips in this night of quiet ecstasy. As I kiss your hand, my tongue reaching down into your palm I glide with the wings of a dove down into a valley-- I take within my hands a bunch of grapes from a vine, A vineyard growing not far from the sea, Not far from a place of mystery-- A place where the human heart has learned to be free. I linger here lost in your arms, enfolded by your touch, I am caught, unable to leave, Even if you offered me the keys, I could not unlock these gates which bind my soul Nor forgo the tears which hold me here. And as I kiss your upper arms, pausing, then dropping downward, My touch a feather from a bird Lit with golden light and a rainbow crown, I feel your body rising beneath me, I see your smile-- The sight of sunlight on the horizon at dawn, Your two hands draw me to kiss your lips And as we kiss, at that touch, like a cloudburst in a thunderstorm, A wilderness of passions whirl about me in a dark gray world Where all that now exists is the touch of your lips, But in another kiss, the storm is gone, The sky clears And I walk among fields Where waves break in seas of golden light I whisper your name calling out to you, I love you. And the mountains in the distance And the waters in the ocean depths And the trees in the forest hear this whisper And the mountains sigh Wanting to stretch their bodies, To shift their bulk and release their tension, The oceans shiver and dream of turning into clouds Walking upon the winds, And the trees, those who heard my whispered words-- I love you-- Their leaves turn upward and they reach out To embrace the sky. I love you. Back to Index *       *       * The Beloved: A Reply My hand between yours And at dawn or sunset I am the high cirrus clouds Saffron, russet, vermilion, Cadmium red, carmine, rose, coral pink, Sailing upon a turquoise sea. Your hand on my belly And I am suspended, floating, Adrift on an ancient river of the soul While the touch of your tongue And the secret chamber at the center Of a subterranean labyrinth You set afire Your touch that discovers Memories I had hidden so well I thought they were lost forever. Your hands sliding down upon my hips: A birch, a yew, an oak, a pine, a cedar, Blindfolded I walk Led by a guardian of the forest To where I join with friends Who celebrate this night Both the sacred And the dark passage ways Leading us here. Your kiss on my palm: A lamb and its mother Calling out to each other Across a ravine, My body moves involuntarily A swirling A python's thigh uncoiling A sail unfurling in the rising wind My mind sinking down Muscles tightening, contracting, My breath is where The eagle hovers, gliding, Ascending and descending. Your kiss on my arm: The roots, the stem, the petals, The fragrance within Each separate part of the flower Feels the spark pass through it-- The ray the enchanter plays. The dream in the eye of the sun Echoes and probes the depths Of my body and soul. And at our kiss A flashflood wild and dangerous Devouring one by one Calm moonlit pools Where serenity said I belong Yet I yield To the raging torrent, The surge, the uncharted power Which enflames the stars And seeks to bind your heart And mine as one forever. The Greater Love Which informs the universe In exquisite pain, In blissful torment, In terrible beauty, Cords rending the soul Sounds whose harmonics Create both light and darkness No mystical dervish this-- I whirl amid a creator's abyss Impaled by the lightning bolt In the night sky, The womb in which The Image of the world Is reborn again and again, Your touch Is the sculptor's acid Annihilating the last barriers To my heart, My body absorbs these fires through every pore I seek you from the core of my being, To wrap you about, to scream, To rise higher. Wind blown foam from the crests of these waves Are tears in my eyes As the storm wind's fury Clasps me close to his breast But at the center Of the whirlwind Silent and still You and I remain the joining Round which the stars dance. Back to Index *       *       * Kathy died during the night several hours after being thrown from a horse. The next day she came to me in a “sending,” awakening me from a nap. She asked me to write this poem for her husband so he would have the words with which to say good-bye to her. I cry every time I read it.    Elegy for Kathy It has grown quiet now-- My tears are no longer falling But my hands and arms continue to search for you I have told them that the night is deep I have told them that the stars were placed in the sky To remind us of the Mysteries still hidden within our hearts But their longing is beyond the power of words to reach That is why my tears Betray even poetry And continue falling. Male and female join As night and day Yet even a star so nobly poised Amid the void, the void which holds its mysterious heart Even a star celebrates its own light In the face of the planets Revolving around it Yet the child's cry reminds us boyh Of the womb from which we were born And the destiny we have yet to attain But the child's cry can be comforted The child held close, the child loved But who will comfort my heart As I search the night As tears continue searching my cheeks Still looking for your smile Still longing to hear your heartbeat? No seashell recalls the songs of the sea Or the waves rippling and falling upon the shore As well as my ears remember your laughter As well as my skin Remembers your love. If I could have but one more hour To walk beside you To share your company as you shove off From the shores of the life we have shared together But you would not grant me this request Even if you could You know I would not return But would continue on beside you. I tell my eyes It is no use They will never see you again But they are more persuasive than I They say they see you everywhere I look In a thousand settings In a thousand memories Which still beg to comfort me, to hold me, to love me As I had hoped to love you every day of my life. I have grown quiet now My tears are no longer falling My blood flows through my body My lungs continue to breathe My arms and hands are calm My eyes and ears are at peace We no longer argue Where and when we will find you Or how we will live without you You see, I have taken over their cause-- In my innermost heart I speak on their behalf: One heart in quiet consultation with another heart Time, space, life, and death They can no longer keep us apart And I say what I would have said anyway And what you know is true also: I love you with all my heart And I will love you forever and again I say I love you so I miss you so much But I know you my dear You would even find it funny That I use a towel now Instead of a handkerchief To dry away my tears. Back to Index *       *       * Lahe was one of the most inspiring individuals I have ever met. She knew and visited nearly every sacred site in Hawaii. The land flowed through her soul. Lahe’ena’e Gay was killed by guerilla militia 3/4/99 in Columbia.
An Elegy--For Lahe When I think of Lahe, I think of the Earth-- The mountains, the trees, the streams, the seas-- The waves, the winds, the currents, the tides And the moon drifting through the skies. When I visualize Lahe, I recall holding her hands And I hear water falling, splashing, and laughing in mountain pools On the Big Island, on Maui, on Molokai, on Oahu, and Kaua’i: Ripples cross the surface to nudge my skin And there are rainbows in the spray As the wind swirls and lifts the fine mist Up and over the cliffs. Somehow she still seems near As if I can catch the scent of her hair. If only the Plumeria were in blossom, If only the shama’s clear, crisp song Could replace this fragrance which is forever gone. Lahe, you are the tears within me I have never cried, The beauty of the universe shines in your eyes, You are the part of my soul which will never die. The Earth weeps this night for a child so dear As do I. Back to Index *       *       * When I was young, I was attracted to women who were born during the dark moon. This aspect is not always sweet, affectionate, or friendly, but it does possess mysterious wisdom.
The Dark Moon I Cold, cold Balsamic Moon Your darkness is the opposite Of your other face: Silvery ecstasy Your hands of light Within the night Are acceptance, delight, and serenity. But this dark face Guards the place Where terror is bound This empty shadow crossing over Obliterating the stars Eclipsing the sun You are a black hole within the heart An abyss to dissolve within Ah, but I know better than to complain You are also a Gate For those who would be reborn as Spirit. My dear, you are so easy to hate and despise To desire you are acid To pleasure you are pain To joy you are sorrow and ruin. But women understand you well enough The mouth that nurses their breasts Learns to resist, grows up, departs The child's heart now given to another. Barren and desolate are a mother's share Of what was once the most tender affection. But men feel your caress Only in absolute despair When all hope is abandoned You are the grave when life is left behind You are the earth where the seed dies You are the circle of fire Guarding Mysteries men shall never taste. Still, though invisible, You are constantly flirting with me In the woman who is so easily offended With a wave of her hand or a glance She makes hatred appear out of thin air I swear, she knows every bitter herb and root Within a hundred miles She hurls darts of jealousy At any pleasure a man takes At any work a man makes Without her to guide him along. But I see through your eyes this Wisdom-- Anything that rusts or corrodes Has no place in your heart You have walked by my side my whole life Every time I have sought to be touched By another in love You have said: First you must die You must let go of the love you would hold Only then will love find you In a new and unknown form You can not even imagine. You say to me: You must build a bridge Between one heart and another Sing into existence a path of Light This is how you entered this world And this is how you will attain your destiny. You say to me: And if you honor my soul As you know Of the stars I am very fond I will give you all of their treasures The mysteries of civilizations forgotten And of ages unborn I will give you clairvoyance Time will undo her veils And stand naked before your eyes The Guardians of the world Will visit you in your room at dawn If you will drink my wine Refined from the essence Of sorrow, regret, sadness, and loss. You see, I am the opposite of oblivion I am the hand held out in welcome To those who would be free Know this you who seek to look upon my form: The path that leads from the darkest night To the heart of the sun Is born from my womb. Though I admit Only a wise man Is ready to concede My beauty-- though well-hidden-- Outshines all other women. Back to Index *       *       * The Dark Moon II I am the Balsamic Moon And dark my night And darker still my light And bitter are my tears And my fingers are icy cold My touch is frost bite. But I am still your lover A lover like no other For I can take you Into a secret place of bliss Where no other lover may go Though I am not there For your needs Still when you look You will behold my beauty-- See the stars Shining in my hair Come walk with me for a night Take my hand and kiss my breasts I alone am your perfect lover A lover like no other And though darkness be my embrace I am the gateway--I alone. Only those born of my womb Only those born of my night Enter the One Light. Back to Index *       *       * Atlantean Memories The love I seek Does not belong to me But to the man I will one day be. I am still the seed And though I have died a thousand times Again I must let go Of the man I know To make the transition But the pain is not everything Wonder walks by my side And Mystery is my guide I have seen and embraced Women who, in the distant future, Will be sent to teach mankind of beauty and bliss And of ecstasy I have tasted more Than William Blake, Whitman, or Baudelaire And the stars at night shine more bright for me Than they ever did for Van Gogh They offer me their sacred fires to comfort my soul You see, the separation before reunion Is never absolute When you have such a clear vision Of the woman you will one day love: The sky speaks of her face The oceans remind me of her grace The earth so silent Keeps her safe Even the flames of fusion in the hearts of stars Are the place Where our wills are forged We will find each other again And love as we once did before. Back to Index *       *       * Her Eyes The brown in her eyes Ensnares with its light I fall to the center of the earth And am reborn as moist leaves on the ground The dreams of spring long gone The spice of summer's delight Still burning furious in my heart Surely the beauty in her face Is a thief stealing my happiness Leaving emptiness in its place Every single time I see her Her presence, her grace Bind me with chains of desire Torture me with flames of pain Force me to walk within my dreams And watch them all betrayed I shall wander lost forever Driven by the winds of her smile: The waves on the sea Their foamy crests Her hair flowing across my chest Soft as thin mist Tossed into the sky. My dreams follow her radiance As the tides the moon As the stars the paths they did not choose. Once she held my hand I was lost in a foreign land In a forest of dark peace In groves amid a wilderness unknown And yet, always, The light of her face reflects The deepest secret of life Which few dare speak Love flows through the center of the heart And only those who willingly embrace The winter of the soul Can pass through the emptiness Guarding the heart's gates-- Love hides its face Because its beauty, its taste, Is more than we can endure. Back to Index *       *       * In Your Hands In your hands I am emptiness Darkness is my abode A place where the soul is lost A time when the heart grows cold The river flowing to the sea finds peace The wave breaking on the beach finds release Starlight falls about me in curtains of luminous rain Oh night of dazzling pain Is there no shelter for my heart? I am in a universe without stars Now that you from my life depart. Back to Index *       *       * In Pablo Neruda’s Footsteps I am dead now The fire has no where to burn The smoke and smoldering desires of memory fade The twigs, the leaves, the coals-- There is no fuel left for flame Only the sound of your heartbeat Only the seas of your love Only this rain of tears falling Though eyes, ears, and body no longer remain. Back to Index *       *       * Too Much to Ask Is it too much to ask for a woman's love? I watch the clouds pass over the Koolau's With moist hands, fingers pressing into the trees Their tongues dip into the leaves As their soft lips whisper, quivering Like a drop of water Delicately poised, balanced, shivering Before running wild down the bark, I listen to the wind at Sandy Beach As it speaks of the sea Of the wave's crest Rising higher Foamy white it hurls itself Without thought, hesitation, or regret As thin mist into the sky As the diamond sun Sings with enchanting eyes Of dawn and twilight Where two hearts unite Day and night melting into a greater love, I watch the stream in Manoa Valley Drifting and turning Curling around every rock Letting go as it flows As in a dream Releasing itself With sighs and gentle cries Willingly it yields Into the arms of the valley below So naturally I think: Love is not so distant In every smell, taste, and touch Its fingers play upon my nerves Ravishing my senses As it searches for my heart, But women must know instinctively To beware of intimacy with a poet Women want men who are firm and strong To lean upon To defend their place within society A man must be like other men For it takes solidarity Membership in community To insure a woman's beauty is honored and well-received Before she willingly opens the gates of her heart. But I am like the wind I penetrate the secret chambers of the heart Into remote longings the mind has forgot Into fires of desire society knows nothing about: Every tree on earth listens when I speak, Awakens, and shares with me its dreams, I can so bind with the power of my mind Any star in the sky at night To reveal its magic and its songs, Even minerals and rocks stir at my touch And recount their birth Long before animal or man walked these islands But what woman would ever put up with crap like that? Or fall in love with a man Who calls the wind his brother Who speaks to the sea in his dreams Who sees beauty, the inner light, Shining within all things-- The web of life Intricately weaving the world And all purposes into one design-- And who imagines a woman's love To be as soft as moonlight falling through space As gentle as the morning breeze As yielding and sweet As the stars at night And the hearts of trees? Although in dreams and visions I am wealthy above all men on earth The simple things in life: Casual conversation, honest work, Straight-forward intentions-- These elude my grasp And so, perhaps it is too much to ask. Back to Index *       *       * One Day One day a woman will love me As the ocean loves the shore All night long I listen to the waves breaking Like the heartbeat of a woman lying next to me, As the moon loves the night And is unafraid to shine amid its abyss of stars, As the wind loves the sky Sailing free it rises with the heat And clings to you when it is cold, As trees love the earth Sturdy, solid Radiant with beauty through all the changing seasons, As rivers love to flow in spring Splashing, laughing, running wild Breaking free of winter's freezing hold, As mountain caves love silence, darkness, and water dripping And are unafraid of the flashflood That surges through their hearts. And in that day I shall be able to tell you The songs the sea sings at night The source of the moon's inspiration when it is dark The dream the wind enters when it falls asleep The taste of the twelve fruits of the Tree of Life The joy of one who has found true love And what it feel like when love Penetrates into the secret chambers of the heart. Back to Index *       *       * The following poem is from the story told to me by a sylph named Capisi.   In this story, an Arab poet is caught between his love of Capisi and human morality that demands he put aside his love of nature and fulfill his obligations to society.
Hold Me One Last Time Hold me. Love me again with all of your heart. I no longer wish to think or judge or reason I surrender the knowledge of who I am Of who I was meant to become into your safekeeping Let me once again be suspended within your love And sheltered by your heart. I want so much to put aside my shame I want to sit on a hillside once again, In the stillness of night, in its warm embrace, And look down from far above at an ocean bay below I want to watch my shame depart Like busy merchants loading their ships before dawn Hurrying to meet their deadline The tide is in, they sail off Their sails vanish over the horizon Never to return. When I hold you My pain is gone, My hands upon your skin And a luminous light More serene than moonlight More sweet than the ecstasy of starlight More healing than dawn's first light-- The part of myself that is afraid Willingly dies now within your arms, I return to the source of life Which I have never known. May all your journeys take place Within the circle Where one heart is joined with another. Back to Index *       *       * This poem is inspired by the spirit of the Venus sphere named Guru.
You Are Within My Soul She says, You are within my soul-- Take my hand Let us celebrate together The Joy hidden in the Heart of Life: There is no pain within you I can not reach, There is no emptiness within you I can not enter and make complete There is no loneliness anywhere within your soul That I can not be there and share it in full. There is no anguish or weariness or wound I can not tend and heal. You feel new life slipping inside you at my touch Yet you say to me, I am afraid. I reply: There is no fear Let go into the unbroken flow My love sails through your blood and your bones All the great battles of life Are first fought within your heart Even as nothing separates our hearts in this moment All fear dissolves in the fire of our love. You say to me, My path is dark and full of confusion. I reply, The body is not separate from the heart. Take my hands, in your own inhalation and exhalation Is light enough to reveal Each breath is a path of love, Come, my love, in our touch, in our breath, And in the words we share Is fire that burns in the heart of the earth And rivers that flow beneath the seas And in our eyes, as we gaze into each others, Is all the knowledge of our souls set free. Come, set aside the memory of ashes From cold places where you camped Amid pain, loneliness, and wilderness. Let go into the flow of our breath, Our blood rising as a tide The waves pulsing through your body have always known That bliss is as near as a smile And ecstasy rides upon the crest of the moment When one heart opens to another. If I held you within my body in this moment (For I am a woman and know my own power) You would sail down that ancient river That flows through your soul And even as you guided the craft Your muscles flexed The helm held steady All your powers as a man engaged and unleashed The fire within your heart and eyes charting the course My love would blend and glide through your body As the bow rides upon the waves As the wind feathers and glides through the sails And whether your quest Searches the far reaches of Eternity Or the mysteries of each moment Your soul would know that in its journey It is no longer alone The treasure you seek is only found When one heart is joined to another-- I love you and I will always love you Wherever you journey Wherever you go. Back to Index *       *       * The following poem was inspired by the song, Ailein Duinn, sung by Karen Matheson from the sound track of Rob Roy.

Sings From The Heart I can feel the electricity from her nipples Bite my skin as her passion rises Yet she sings from her heart this woman Her grace enfolds me She has laid her soul bare and naked And slipped it within me. I can feel her wetness dripping down her legs As she takes me within Even as I climb, scaling huge boulders The water flowing and splashing As spray and drops upon my skin As I climb deeper, penetrating further Up the ragged, jagged, and winding course Of a mountain stream Amid ravines I climb Over fallen trees and past raging torrents Until finally I reach The source, the mountain pool Surrounded by slippery smooth walls, impassable, Yet she sings from her heart this woman. I can feel her hips wild when they play Joined to mine in intimate embrace The wind wild as the sea The wind evoking pollen and seeds From the flower and tree The wind creating clouds From out of an empty sky As warm and moist it ascends rising higher over the mountain cliffs Opening its mouth to release fog and mist in the cooling air Yet she sings from her heart. I can feel her mouth searching my body for secret gateways Which release my bliss to her tongue and her lips In her eyes in this moment I see the secret longing hidden in the eyes of all animals The instincts which flow Beneath the frozen ice of the mountain stream The water dripping and exploding In subterranean caverns which glide and hide At the core and roots of mountains Yet she sings from her heart this woman. I feel the hand that caresses with tenderness my skin I feel the hand of the moon Whose caress can bleed the soul Cold, wild, ferocious virgin that She is The teeth in the moon light tear And leave marks and pain upon my skin More permanent than any welts From the loneliness hidden therein Yet the mouth of my Beloved and her lips Heal every bruise and torment With a fire more wild and complete As she touches me with her mouth As her lips follow secret pathways To the source of pain and loneliness hidden within Yet she sings from her heart this woman to my heart. As her soul enters my body Her words and the notes of her song Her own heart speaks from out of my chest Her thighs, her hips, her breasts, her hands, and her eyes Dancing this very moment here within my body Her tongue has learned to speak that ancient magick The human race has yet to learn-- That lust and Divine Love are never separate But move as one in every act of human and Divine Creation. Back to Index * * * Once long ago before I knew the ways of priests, magicians, and shamans, I was chanting in the woods. And two young deer sat down beside me. We spent the next two hours together. I pretended to eat hickory leaves from a bush and they ran beside me through the woods. But it was not good.

I knew I was on the brink of losing my sanity--if I remained a few hours longer with these deer among these trees where the light shines brown and green and the top soil and the stream running down are the silent wealth of the hills....I would neither recognize nor understand how to place my hand and press my thumb to open the door of my car parked and waiting for me patiently at the mouth of the valley. Perhaps days, weeks, or months later, I would wander on to a road and be hit by a car or else be found starving and ill at the bottom of some hill at the edge of a ranch, suburb, or freeway. Then no medical doctor on earth would be able to diagnose my illness. And so I chose to return to my car and be haunted from afar rather than to walk alone into the unknown.

But that was long ago. Since then I have learned the ways of shaman, of shape shifting, and transferring my conscious with ease into trees, rocks, stones, seas, every breeze, and other manifold forms of nature. And so now when passion reaches for me it finds a kindred spirit, a soul with an inner land of forests, mountains, and seas where it is free to roam without hindrance. Last night, for example, I was delighting in a ritual of passion. I was soaked in sweat like an ancient hunter who has transformed into the creature he is stalking. And so this poem of celebration:

I Am the Wolverine I am the wolverine Wolves, mountain lion, and bear Flee from me or else climb trees To escape the fear I cause Because of the terror In my teeth, my jaws, and my claws Their game I claim as my own All this land I roam is my home The Goddess of the earth has declared it so She has placed this ferocity within me A gaze so cold, alone, and bold Others' hearts weaken The fire in their eyes dies-- It is wise they avoid me That they keep their distance They know that if I wished I could steal their soul life The way the moon steals beauty from the night Or the stars steal rapture From the dark emptiness of the void. Though my reputation is well-known Few fathom my inspiration-- I am the will that turns the seasons That changes night to day It is what I am I am its manifestation That is to say What shines in my gaze Is beyond mortal understanding You may think it odd I speak so openly, freely, and with eloquence But intelligence is no defense And reason is no shield Against the powers I wield I take what I need I leave claw marks on the bark of trees My smell is sharp I see in the dark The possibilities others' hearts can not conceive. I am the wolverine Back to Index *       *       * Shea says her Irish family is part of a werewolf clan, something she discovered on her own because her parents would never speak of it aloud in her presence. I really do not know anything more about this other than, again, I awoke from a nap and wrote this poem for her spirit.
The Werewolf, For Shea In my soul is a passion Few mortals will ever know Oh, that's not to say That my cravings lacks history and tradition Or that what I am resists definition Its just that my lust for life Makes all other desires lack spice I am a werewolf. The moon is my secret life And the fire in my blood is a warrior's right Whereas others love light I am a creature of the night, I know for you darkness is taboo A wilderness where fear grows But for me not so The bones of the dead And the blood that is shed Are sacred light, they are my birthright The howl in the night Is my clan's call: "Battlelust, heartsblood, Sacred trust, joined as one-- Attack until we are done, Fight until we have won." In my soul burns a fire so pure Terror can not come near Many think I am cursed But in truth what I am is clear And my family's honor I hold dear: I am fire flowing in the blood I am an unknown and forgotten celebration of love I am passion running so deep I shape shift between animal and human being In order to be complete I am a werewolf. Back to Index *       *       * My Opposite In that great epic poem, The Mahabarata, Dharma, the law of the universe, once put a question to his son, testing him. The question was, What is your opposite? I ask myself this question And my opposite appears-- My hands slide along the cool emerald skin of the python Crawling, winding, curling, sliding through the jungle's secret depths She sniffs the air I taste the scent Her eyes petrify the faint of heart, the weak of mind I see through her eyes: Trails of glowing heat laid out for her upon the ground Pathways of smells floating down Sensing that I am here, that I invade her soul She shape-changes into a beautiful young woman Her hair is wild, her scent the essence of jungle leaves, Her eyes devouring mine with mirth and tender craving insatiable Naked she pulses rhythmically, closing in, tightening her grip, Her caress is sliding, enfolding, and drowsy wet Even as a screaming pleasure reveals its torment, Saturated, ready to implode, a vacuum draws me further in-- No less than the moisture on leaves, rain falling through the trees, The path of a tear, the drop into the ocean dissolving Her invitation is bliss Her invitation is oblivion And her eyes I have seen before In the mouth of a cave, in the call to come away, In the soul is that is lost, in the soul that is saved In the lips that taste of Springtime In the lips that say: Night fades, I am Dawn, Take your fill and be reborn. Ah, but I will not strive with her I honor her soul and her heart I hold within my own-- In the depths of her hunger I dissolve yet my light shines on We smile at each other-- Fear within me she can not find: I am the granite rock she can not bind I am the mountain's patience I am the silence neither fire nor desire can burn I am Vishnu Schist I record the beginnings of time I open my hands and she sees the yearning in the secret chambers of stars, She sees galaxies whirling, She beholds the Lords of Saturn dark, mysterious, inexorable Who guard and nurture those transformations which last forever She returns to her serpentine form Her head rests in my palm She drinks with me the ecstatic wine hidden within her spine The golden rays of sunlight In rainbow splendor, in every mineral call out to her As I sing the dreams of the elements in my songs Intoxicated, enthralled, she let's down her guard Her soul open, naked, and flowing into my own The coiling implacable The spiraling primordial The craving impenetrable She yields to me the secrets That guard the feminine heart. Back to Index *       *       * For Debra If you were the goddess Kundalini and I were Krishna, Would you dance for me if I played my flute? If you were a wolverine, would you sniff and follow a trail Of claw marks I left on Blue Spruce bark? If you were the darkness beneath a stone or the silence Beneath a mountain, would you listen if I spoke With the voice of the Earth? If you are the wolf caught in a trap or the trap's Claws grasping the wolf’s legs, would you still listen To the voice of the wind as it caresses your cheeks And sings of freedom? And if you were in a place of lonely pain, Would you still remember the soft touch Of an infants lips as he nurses? And do you remember the dream you once had long ago Of a child who froze as footsteps approached? Tell me, how do you open your hands And thread and weave out of your own being This circle of fire where the broken heart is healed? Back to Index *       *       * When I walk each day I often run into a stray bee hovering over a flower or winding his way home. Occasionally they circle around my face or lift off for a moment to defend their space. So far we have avoided offending each other. The Bee I am the honey bee Buzzing about Even the queen Knows not my route She does not keep track of me I am free. Every flower I see I taste its nectar Its fragrance I savor And though I know The flowers use me To spread their pollen And their seeds Sticking to my legs and tummy Still, I hum and sing For it is Spring The air is fresh The sky blue The breeze gentle too The flowers in bloom What more could I ever do or desire Than to set sail on these winds And touch these flowers? Back to Index *       *       * When Philip Carr-Gomm, the druid chief of the Order of Bards, Ovates, and Druids first came to the United States, I attended his week long seminar at the Omega Institute in New York   After the week was over, I noticed that when I touched a tree, the tree felt alive exactly as if I was touching the arm of a woman. I also remember how J.R. Tolkein said that the elves woke up the trees and gave them voices. For me, all trees have a voice and a spirit. And if you listen, they are more than willing to share their dreams and visions.
I Speak with Trees I speak with trees. They answer my questions. They share with me their secret dreams and visions. They are not without passion. "Do not your roots as they probe and search the earth To quench their thirst for nourishment Find peace and satisfaction?" "Even as lovers taste and celebrate each other." "Do not your needles and your leaves As they drink in the sun's light Delight in the interaction Joined to such power and might?" "With lips and fingers The lover searches the beloved's skin In bliss they fuse Their hearts merge The joy is rapture." "Do you not stand alone Firm and enduring amid the changing seasons Because in you a greater will has found its home?" "Fire is woven into wood As are water, earth, and light I am not afraid. In my soul is the song of creation." "Is this why your seeds depart upon wind and breeze Risking death and annihilation Because of the song that has called them?" "Isolation and pain fade with the night As birth and new light sing ecstasy into life. Every season is the flower of beauty unfolding." Back to Index *       *       * St. Patrick you recall was credited with driving all the snakes out of Ireland. He also took a harp away from a bard, you know, because music so beautiful can mislead the soul.
     I read this poem to an adult and she did not understand it but the children who were listening understood every word. St. Patrick and the Elves St. Patrick met a bard one day And hearing him play St. Patrick exclaimed: "The notes of your harp Are the same as heaven's own art Except for one thing-- They are a little too much elvin." And so St. Patrick took the bard's harp away And put it in the corner of his room. But late that night when St. Patrick fell asleep and dreamed The cold wind from the sea swept into his room And when the wind touched the harp's strings Little elfin men came out of the harp And filled up his room. Then St. Patrick woke with a start And cried aloud: "I know not the bard's art How to send you back home To the fairy realms from which you come. What am I to do with you?" And they replied: "Only a saint can see us. To all others we are invisible. Let us go free so we can play: In your world by the light of day The rainbow sparkles in delight And by night the sounding sea And the breeze in the tree Sing as sweet as any bard's enchanting melody." And St. Patrick, with so many elves cluttering up his room, Said in reply: "I would be willing to give it a try If you will serve the church for me. You see, we on earth are not idle or carefree Instead, we do work for God's glory. You there, yes you, with the pale hands and long fingers What useful thing for the church will you do?" And the little elf said: "I can take a heart broke in two And mend it again So that it shines like the moon." And St. Patrick said: "And you there with the pointed red cap How about you?" "I can take a little boy And show him how to fly a kite in the sky With stands from a vine and leaves from a tree Carefully entwined, for this is a toy I have designed. And not only that, I can teach a child to tie his shoe Or to find his way home again when he is lost in the wood; All of this I will do for you." And St. Patrick said: "And you there standing behind my table with your eyes so shy? Do you also make toys that fly?" "No, but I can teach your scribes To draw bright colored letters of red, gold, and blue With dragons and unicorns dancing through So that learning to read and write Will be a pleasure and a delight." "And you with your head leaning against my wall What is your where with all?" "I will show monks and men To ferment hops and honey So that beer and mead Teach the tongue to let go of dark secrets-- Then the sadness in men's souls will be banished." And St. Patrick, who could tell right from wrong, Was also a practical man. He knew as well as me or you That some things you just have to do. So he let the elves go And the people in that land Were more happy and holy. But a month later when the moon was dark The harp did spark Its strings flared with fierce flames emerald and green And in the room stepped a fairy queen Elegant, radiant, and gorgeous. Her eyes were full of starlight And her hair was blazing red. And when St. Patrick saw this sight He said: "You are so lovely the sky and the sea Can not compete with your beauty. Your face and grace outshine the sun and the moon. But I can not let you go free. You would haunt my people in their dreams. They would return to worshiping trees in groves And to pray among standing stones." The elvin queen replied: "St. Patrick, you know as well as I do, You can not keep me here with you. My beauty is too great Even you would lose your faith And no longer desire to see God's face. Let me go free and I promise you I will take from the shores of your land All the snakes of Ireland. "You see, every creature of sea, wind, and land Obeys my command. The snakes will follow me home To the Blessed Realms where I will go. For only a saint as great as you is free to choose To remain on earth to do God's will And not fall into my enchantments. "But in another age men will find a way To sing God's praise and capture Beauty in one song And this they will do both to honor God's glory And for the sake of Love." Now St. Patrick was not only a practical man, He was also wise and so he said: "Go in peace my child. Do this work for the sake of the church And I will search my heart To see if your prophecies are true or not." And when St. Patrick awoke the next day All the snakes from Ireland had gone away But his heart informed him he had made a mistake To let the maiden of Beauty depart. Though he tried to call her back St. Patrick knew not the bard's art. And so the land of Erin still awaits the day When men will come forth no longer ashamed or afraid To join in one song God's praise With the Blessed Realm's Beauty and Love. Back to Index *       *       * Imagine that the gnome named Mentifil were to take incarnation as a human being while retaining his magical powers. And imagine further that he were to fall in love with another human being. Then he might write this poem. To My Beloved When the stream falls asleep and dreams of rain When the mountain forgets its mass and weight Its cliffs towering It roots running deep And walks among the stars Listening to their songs in the night-- I sit against a redwood tree a thousand years old The smell of the forest drowsy in my bloodstream. I sit within a circle My back to a stone placed five thousand years ago I reach back with my palms And feel its tough endurance The lichens clinging to its rough surface The stone rests so comfortably Within a quiet peace Its pulse throbs faintly To the temperature changes of day and night The seasons, the ages, the eons, It still holds conversations with other times. I dream with the stream, the mountain, the tree, the stone Till I awake within your heart to discover-- For this purpose was I created: To love you And to celebrate together The stars giving birth to light The dark womb giving birth to the stars I am no longer alone. The gust of wind Its ebb and flow Holding its breath and letting go, The waves of ancient seas Memories sinking down Into limestone Metamorphic and igneous rock Outcrops twisting and blending, Driven by the winds of time-- These transformations, as are my own, Are woven into one Song In the silence of the night By the beauty within your heart. Back to Index *       *       *
This poem is part of my dialogues with the undine Istiphul. I wrote it with the assistance of a medium whose feelings I translated into these words:

Song of the Sea Waves splashing against the shore, folding back, Flowing back and forth and splashing more. A soft sounding surge of waves upon waves as herds of soft caresses rise, collapse, Enfolding each breath in release. On and on it goes-- A cold cup of water thrown in your face are these sounds, A gentle touch clasping your finger, a yielding and a swaying, A dancing and a playing, a playing which is exquisite pain-- And the pain a pleasure reflected in the falling drops of rain Thrown by curling waves. The gasps and sighs, each sigh a bird unleashed and in flight gliding low over the waves. Each falling wave Like the ocean's own breath rising from its depths floating And surging now on the crest which edges even closer To spilling into bliss. On and on it goes, flowing without end-- this is the ound of the ocean making love-- it is unmistakable,   I hear it! It is the sound of Istiphul when she is in love.

Back to Index * * *
I was having dessert with a lady who had been introduced to me by a couple who worked at Hickim air force base. This woman was a Wiccan priestess in a local coven. We were eating a hot fudge Sunday. The ice cream was in a big scoop in the center of an icy cold metal plate and hot fudge was laid out on the plate in a design of interlaced flowers. As we were devouring this, the woman was relating to me her adventures in different parts of the world.
I did not realize that this woman was also a remarkable medium. As I told her about different undines I had met, without any noticeable change in her appearance, she put aside her own consciousness and began speaking to me with Istiphul’s voice. This is what the undine said: When I look at you through my eyes You are wonderful to behold-- A man of power, masterful, and in charge. But when I perceive you through human eyes You are thin, wiry, balding, and shy. No wonder women do not respect you. Their minds deceive them and their senses do not lead them To listen to the songs the seas have told-- Hot blood flowing in their lungs Moist air set afire with the taste of passion, Power dancing with desire. But we elemental beings crave you as our lover You go for the heart You ask for all that I am Your love nearly tears me apart I can hold nothing back. As you kiss me waves collide In mid-ocean from separate storms Exploding in white foam as we touch. But for human women it is not at all like this. The hand that glides upon the skin Does not beckon them. I think they cling to identity excessively-- The light of the moon does not illuminate their darkness And so their souls can not speak freely. They feel not the electricity of the lightning storm You release in me Nor do they hear the consonants and vowels Of waters crying aloud Making love on all the beaches of the world In the rapids, the streams, and the river's falls. They know not the releasing arising from the ocean floor Nor the sinking and letting go into the undertow Nor the returning, the arching back in the wave's crest breaking Its feathery tip translucent in the sunlight and sparkling in starlight. Where can an undine go to share with a human soul these things? The dark depths of the ocean trench, The slippery touch of the jellyfish and the nautilus, The caress of arctic cold, Or the warmth of curling up on a tropical beach Of a woman walking out of the sea naked and free Drops of water anointing her skin. Sailors handsome, rugged, strong, and bold Perceive with acute vision The winds, the tides, the wave's size, the seasons And the clouds at dawn. Brave are their hands upon the helm-- With compass and starry charts they master the dark But in their eyes the blue green sea does not dream-- They are afraid of what they can not control. But you are not as these. In your soul waves roll five thousand miles And magnetism flows between the poles And when I kiss your lips It is I who drown in your bliss.

Back to Index * * *
Again, a poem from my dialogues with the undine Istiphul. I wrote this poem while sitting near the ocean as large waves thundered against the rocky shore and spray drenched me from a twenty mile an hour wind. An Undine’s Prayer Wild winds wash over me Caress the breasts of these waves With ripples running free Take me, ravish me With your kiss of bliss With your hips of thunder Spread your fingers on my skin. As you dip your tongue Into my troughs and crests I throb, my body rolls over Bound to your heartbeat My tides rise higher Your breath stirs my currents As your lips fly, hover, and then dive Into my waves and thighs As your hunger invades my inner recesses. Oh, for a mortal lover With the passion of the wind To feel his eyes burn As they glide upon my naked skin His desires sinking down into my depths. Lord of the Winds— Search the earth for a lover Relentless to discover my ecstasy, Sounding sea—anoint me with your heartsblood That I may know such love, Running waves—rise and break In sighs and cries until he comes. Back to Index * * * We all get sentimental at times. I wrote this poem one lonely night. The Feeling of a Woman Does the moon shed no light for me tonight? Does love neither seek me nor reach for me When I would share my heart? Ah fool, I tell myself, Nearly half a century is gone Yet the passions of youth burn ever strong. I remember the girl whose love broke me in two Her affection was soft and sweet as the moon Her smile, her heartbeat, her eyes Were greater than any tide Like this night, she left me Abandoned, without light. The feeling of a woman Is like a pool flowing beneath a mountain: No sun dawns No moon rises Yet the water is luminous, Cool, soft, soothing Amid transparent light, silence dancing: The taste of love a secret sharing heart to heart. Some will die without having felt this touch Some hearts will harden, turning bitter, dry, and cold Because the memory has grown old. But I remember her smile, her heartbeat, her eyes Though no moon shines this night Though no hand reaches for mine The waters of my heart Flow cool, soft, and full of luminous dreams Dancing with the silence of this night Overflowing with love.

Back to Index * * *

By knowing our opposite, we come to know ourselves. The two genders conceal and also reveal each other’s secrets and each other’s mysteries. But the journey of discovery is not always easy. Women and the Sea Why has it taken me so long to grasp This most basic of facts: Women are like the sea— In her arms Warm and gentle I lie on a tropical beach The sun lazy and sweet The moon spilling over with enchanting dreams, I set my sails By the winds of her smile Her eyes shine with ecstasies I have yet to find As she says: “Take me, ravish me Search out all my secrets Impress me with your abilities I am yours to possess If you can discover my bliss.” Her waves are round and soft Splashing with laughter My craft surges and rides, Her moist, wet kiss A thin mist upon my cheeks The land vanishes from the horizon Yet she remains by my side. Off the coast of Central America Through a mountain pass The winds blow fierce Catching your sails They drive you West With huge waves and gusts Sailing down wind You try to ride the storm out Until on the third day The crest of a thirty foot wave Breaks over the deck The boat hidden beneath a foamy, white crest But now the storm is past I know women like that: With the hunger of the wind They will devour you or empower you It makes no difference to them. The helmsman of a forty foot catamaran Who sails from Kauai to the Big Island Says he prefers to have sailors on board From the Great Lakes Local sailors, he complains, are accustomed To predictable trade winds And so their eyes do not study the horizon Nor do they smell the air Searching for any indication Of the mood swings of the sea But on Lake Huron or Lake Erie A lion squall can smash down on you in less than twenty minutes Gusts of a hundred miles an hour The waves blown flat without white caps Horizontal rain flailing your face And then in a few moments it is passed I know women like that: In their eyes, unprovoked, A ferocity rises up, ready to attack To smash you flat Before falling back Denying its own presence Behind a wall of vulnerability and sensitivity. Once I flew a spinnaker Two thousand square feet of sail Round, soft as silk, Floating in the air off the bow With lines, winches, and pole I kept the sail on the edge of a luff Barely fluttering, quivering, Hypersensitive to each nuance of wind shift The sailboat gliding over the waves The stays taut, the mast tense The helm guided by a firm hand, After three hours of unbroken concentration My body and mind joined to the wind I said to another sailor, “I wish making love could be like this The body and breath one, Adrenaline and endorphins running this thick In the bloodstream.” But he did not understand what I meant— In a society where women are not fully aroused The men are materialists Their eyes are blind Their hearts are closed Having never tasted the feminine essence They do not see The inner light shining in all things Through the translucent waves Whispering in the wind Calling to them in their dreams The sea says, “Come and dance with me,” But they do not understand, Such men fail to attain to their destiny Light does not illuminate their visions. You may think I exaggerate to make my point But I tell you Once when a bank of gray clouds Closed in with thunder And ribbons of lightning glancing down As twilight faded into darkness The mast and sails began to glow With a purple, greenish light And a humming sound Like listening with your ear against a bee hive Saturated the air And the hairs on our arms stood up Excited by the touch Of St. Elmos fire I know women like that: They have passions and moods Which men have never seen Electric, their desires flair up They touch you in the dark And then, without a second thought, Without a care, they depart. One night, alone in a small craft, The sky was overcast I could hear the waves breaking not far off Against a rocky shore hidden in darkness But I could not turn out to sea The waves were too great When the wave’s crest broke Over the stern I took on water And so sailing only by sound I listened to the waves Bearing off when the breaking crest Was too near Until two hours later I sailed past the tip of the island I know women like that: Shoals hidden in darkness Uncharted, unmapped, Places where dreams are shattered Lives are shipwrecked And to survive them You must make darkness your friend. And even when you are ashore, When you think you are safe and sound Where your feet are really on solid ground It is still like visiting Sacred Falls on Oahu, I have floated naked in that mountain pool At dawn as the sun’s golden, molten breath Caressed the rocky heights The water so cold yet inviting So exciting, yielding all of its being to my touch Like lips which finally surrender a kiss But then later on when I had left Falling rocks kill others right where I had stood That place, though sacred, is also a trap I know women like that— They can be incredibly sweet and kind And then turn and stone you to death Like their worst enemy from another lifetime. But then again The sea never did promise me She would be an easy conquest To state my case Concerning women and the sea: If you look carefully enough Into the eyes of any woman on earth Hidden in the depths You will find a quiet dignity And if you meditate on what you find You will hear her say: “I am waiting for a lover Who is wise, strong, and tender To discover my secrets To taste my bliss To ravish my heart And yet who lets me be As wild and free as the sea.” Back to Index *       *       * This was a poem I wrote while meditating with Asmodel of the sphere of Jupiter. It is Asmodel’s commission to inspire and guide loving communities which are also powerful and wise.
Psalm for the Sea 7 The blue-green purity of an arctic sea Mirrorlike A faint mist drifting upon its surface The blue-white glacier Clinging to the mountain slopes Or resting within the valley It is winter when the herbs are bitter And the sun dim and distant There is a time To retreat and to sleep To withdraw from the outer world In the arms of love Is soothing release In its embrace The cold of the world Leaves no trace Yet the ice, the frost, the snow Are not indifferent They are not without love— In the winter of the soul Is the greatest vision Of the Beloved’s face, A sojourner once said to a woman, “I love you so much If you held me within your heart Winter would no longer be cold And ice and snow Would be warm to the touch.” The woman replied, “I am afraid the silence of snowy fields The icicle’s chill And the touch of frostbite Can offer more love than I But if you see the beauty within my soul And can celebrate it Even when it flows bitter and cold Even during the dark of winter when no light shines Then I will give you my love.” From the poles to the black volcanic beach To the white sands of the Aegean Sea The oceans enfold the world in their embrace They absorb the heat of the sun Cooling the earth by day Warming the earth by night In love’s embrace Is the preservation of light on earth Whose heart is as deep and vast as the seas? Who heart nourishes all life on earth? Whose heart can greet the wind’s passionate kiss With waves running wild and free And yet absorb the light of the stars by night In a place mirrorlike and at peace? The man replied to the woman, “I shall be a mirror so empty and clear Your beauty shall finally shine In all its radiance I shall give you a cup to drink Filled with the wine of the sun Which persuades winter to let go its grip So spring is free to come And when we are separate Neither the depths of the sea Winter’s cold Nor even the dark ocean where the stars shine Shall diminish our love Our hearts will be forever one.” “Who are you?” she asked, He replied, “I am the voice of love The one you have called From the depths of your heart And I have come to celebrate with you The love that renews the world.” Back to Index *       *       *
The next few poems pertain to the element of fire which is strong here in Hawaii where a volcano is almost always flowing lava to the sea.
Song of Fire A moonless night Darkness thick in the air A rage trapped within fear Where is this? What landscape of the soul Have we fallen into now? Do not mistake this place For a wasteland of terror and death. It is another source of life— Streams of lava flow here More viscous than water The heat a dripping wax Burning the air Seeking to devour Whatever is near The red and orange light Flashes of yellow Patches of molten black Surge down the hillside Shaping themselves to the land A glowing hand grasping the earth The animals flee, trees explode, There is no spray in this river The waves, liquid, metallic, Rounded and curving move with zest Without release or crest The rapids silent. As these islands rise from the sea, Remember? The whole world was once like this: Raging mountains, Black, smoking deserts Red and gray clouds of burning ash Encompassing the planet. But now the song is simple, pure, and clear— I am the lava flow I love the earth Darkness seeks my soul But my mouth and tongue kiss the ground As she burns with my pleasure Yet I am not lascivious I am the childhood of rocks I am a dream in labor Though my time is brief No force controls me Until at last As the sea reaches to clasp my fingers I turn to steam and gas I shatter with delight This night, as I finally Lie down and rest, The stars will sing in my ears. Back to Index *       *       * This poem I wrote while meditating on a cinder cone. My Lover A wilderness of fire A cinder cone of liquid, vermilion rain A torrential storm of scarlet flames Volcanic hunger Breaking free In primordial victory Over dark chaos— Molten streams flowing Dreams of islands rising Amid the sounding sea, “Walk with me,” she says As she takes my hand, “I am yours to command I only ask in return— To ride the thundering waves Burning in my heart Exploding in this place Where peace and beauty Lie down and fall asleep In the arms of power unleashed. Back to Index *       *       * Itumo is a salamander who specializes in lightening. He is a rather dynamic and mysterious being. I am very fond of him. One day he said to me, “I know more about what is going on inside you than anyone else on earth.” I wrote this poem after I had joined my mind to his.
Itumo Do you know what its like when lightning strikes? In an instant the earth and the sky unite: The tree, the flowing stream, the hilltop, the rock— Their hearts burst so that the thirst of the cloud for the earth Might be satisfied. Do you know what it is like inside a thunderstorm? A sea of rain, froth of mist, and vapors churning Electricity building Passions locked in a frenzy, intensifying, Power exalting in strength and beauty Uncoiling within itself Until, unable to be contained, Ecstasy takes flight upon the wings of freedom. Do you know what it is like to explode From the core of your being— To be a flame of white light Reaching down from the sky And up from the earth And to celebrate this art within your heart? I will tell you: It is bliss unafraid of emptiness It is love unafraid of loss It is desire burning so hot It annihilates the shadows within the lover’s heart. Wherever there is an abyss, a chasm, or a gulf Within nature, between one heart and another, Or separating mankind from the divine— My joy and delight will suffice To pierce and shatter the darkness of any night So you may find the path across. Back to Index *       *       * This poem is inspired by the fire elemental or salamander named Orudu. It is written with his voice. Orudu oversees all great volcanic eruptions occurring on our planet. I imagined one day that Orudu had taken a human woman as his consort, taken her back with him to live within and master the powers of fire which he knows so well. Franz Bardon sometimes mentions that elemental beings such as undines can acquire the body of a human woman to become the lover of a magician. I imagine it works both ways—a human woman can also transform into a spirit with the powers of the elemental beings. If I leave my house, in forty-five minutes I can be sitting in complete isolation by the pools of Makapu’u at the edge of the sea. The Pools of Makapu’u Three to six feet deep, Ten feet from the razor sharp, rocky volcanic shore The crests of the sea’s pounding waves nourish these pools Where I come to worship Memories of what has been and what shall be Cupping your head in my hands You float naked Ripples running from your body Across the mirrorlike surface Returning again From the edges of the pool Striving to reach across your hips To swirl in the crease To circle and curve As they embrace your breasts Set like a diamond in an emerald sea Your body lit In each drop of water Raging and sparkling with solar flame upon your skin, The bottom of the pool Blue-green water over saffron and rust sands, Manini, aholehole, humuhumu lei and a-pua’a also Linger in the crevices Cast here upon the surge at high tide, Your arms float by your sides A pod of whales, two adults, two calves Frolic off shore Breaching and spouting Your legs slide beneath the surface Following the moon diving beneath the horizon As the high tide lets go its hold upon the shore. The water is thick in these pools Yet here the moist tongue’s tip— The taste of salt On your skin The taste of desire Light dipping into water The glow of fire Water yielding Rippling shadows The dancing heat stroking The sun caressing your skin. Once each century I journey to these pools in mortal form Beneath Makapu’u’s cliffs But older than this island I have risen from beneath the waves Exploding, unfolding, flowing From beneath the mantel of the earth Yielding to my hunger To build new islands To expand from fiery depths Concealed in mammoth lakes of fire. Who am I? No bite, sting, tear, or puncture Can match the devouring hunger Flaring and imploding within my mouth When I cast off The garments concealing my shoulders My strength appears: I am the one Who rivets the land masses To the continental shelves, I am the one Who twists in his palm The folds and valleys in the oceans’ depths Every last one They surrender before my power: The tidal waves The titanic force rippling through the earth When but for an instant I touch them in their sensitive place As this woman Who out of freedom returns to me again and again Yielding to me her love We appear in mortal form again to celebrate The beauty of these islands where we first met I, a god of fire, And she, once a woman, She floats again in this pool Held steady by my soft touch. The fire in our love for each other Is unmatched by any other lovers on earth. Back to Index *       *       * In Hindu mythology, the goddess Dawn is the most beautiful of all the goddesses. The Goddess Dawn She puts her head on my leg And wraps her arms around my waist To touch a goddess so fine Is next to divine Even her skin radiates light Like the solar corona During an eclipse of the sun. We wait together through the darkness of night The wind hovers over the earth Like a cat playing with a mouse Its paw dropping down on the trees To tease and maul the leaves. No light yet But a honey warmth Wells up through the ground Ah, there it is now A tide of purple flowing into indigo Barely perceptible Or is it just my wish— To trade pain for love The power of words joined with will To make the world anew Rather than cherish each moment as it is? Last night a Japanese girl handed me a small black statute Of Ganesha, so I told her the story of Ganesha’s father, Shiva— That even a god can fall in love and then suffer terribly When his heart is broken Until the Creator himself comes offering reassurance: “Separation is followed by love— Shiva, you will be reunited again with your lover In her next incarnation on earth.” And now the first bird begins to sing Its voice dancing on the wind Breaking through the night’s fast of silence It is not my imagination A greyish dark blue perfume Takes hold of the sky But the goddess Dawn is still asleep by my side. “Goddess, isn’t it time for you to rise up And to greet the sun?” I ask. “Let me sleep in just this once,” she says, “Your body feels so fine next to mine Why don’t YOU sing my hymn to the sun this time?” (Now, the one thing you never want to do with a goddess Is to show her disrespect) and so I reply: “I’ll give it a try.” Gazing into the East I raise both my hands in salute And speak aloud: “Royal King Your mighty voice reaches to the ends of the universe Your flames of inspiration Seize my heart to tear it apart So great is your Joy And yet my lips still separate My breath does not hesitate As I call out: Rise up, dissolve again this darkness within me Burn my sorrows away Annihilate the night Take these shadows which are my life I will trade them all gladly For a single taste of your Love Lord of Light Dazzling and bright I hear the Archangel playing his horn The notes of the first dawn I hear a billion stars rhapsodizing in an infinite song While the birds trade the despair in the air To spread praise and harmony everywhere, Magenta now glows, swirls of a woman’s hair in soft light Kind and noble Sir, find me work in the world of day As fine as gold that never fades away Teach me your ways That my heart might shine like your own My Champion, Rise up, share your light with the world. As the sounding sea calls out to the shore Come and explore, be brave, dauntless and free As the wind sails through the sky unobstructed Like thought in the mind of enlightenment In a soul that overflows with light.” “Ah, not bad,” says the goddess to me, “But you missed the pink and the violet The citrine and the lilac With the green on the fringe And you didn’t even notice when the doves began to sing And I think you cry too much The child in you still needs a loving friend But that will come For now, just celebrate each moment as it is. There really is no separation you know But this is a wisdom you must learn on your own Now it is time for me to go I have to put on the rest of the morning show. My sweet bard and friend We’ll meet again Whenever your heart longs for mine.” Back to Index *       *       * The following poem I wrote after performing a druid pathworking. The exercise involved going off and speaking with a goddess.
Goddess of the Cauldron You want to know what I am brewing in my cauldron? I will tell you: It is leaves falling down Red, gold, vermilion, and brown Carrying to the earth the song of the sun Rain washing over them Water soaking twigs, bark, roots, and fallen trees Running into the streams Carrying the song of clouds that roam free upon the wind. It is the blood Of the lion, the salmon, the crocodile, and the wolf It is the blood of the Earth Boiling in my cauldron The fruits of Her sorrow And Her joy also in giving birth. It is the brine in the spine of mountains The silent yearning in granite and quartz The mountains stand tall and mighty But time grinds them to dust The shores of oceans are decorated with their sands The dreams of ages past and future are the wine I stir into my cauldron All of this I mix, boil, cook, and refine. Your life is a part of my wisdom My light was shining at your birth Your trials in life are the herbs I set out to dry I grind them with my mortar and pestle I sprinkle them in to perfect my draught. You may think me severe My knowledge too terrifying to behold But the ingredients in my recipe are only these: The body, soul, and spirit of the Earth Taste but a drop And your vision is clear-- Freedom and love combine Neither space nor time can bind Those who drink my elixir, Such can afford to be gentle and kind They can afford justice and compassion Because their wealth of spirit knows no limit. Back to Index *       *       * This poem is from the story, The Poet Amir, told to me by the sylph named Capisi. In that story, Capisi temporally incarnates as a human being so she can become the consort of an Arab poet. And she writes this poem.

In Greek mythology, Psyche was a human woman. In response to a message from the Oracle of Delphi, she was abandoned at the edge of a cliff to be consumed by a monster. But it was not a monster, as some would tell us, but the god Eros who came to her. She became his lover and, finally passing the impossible tests of Eros’ mother, Aphrodite, Psyche was transformed and granted immortality as a goddess among other gods.

The Song of Psyche He comes to me at night But though he is invisible My every need is met I have minstrels and bards Attendants, jesters, and noble knights Who keep me company But my sisters so jealous say “Look upon his face Every relationship must withstand the light, Men are not gods They are puppy dogs.” They tell me: “Light an oil lamp And stab him in his sleep.” They think it is a monster Who holds me in his keep. I share with my Beloved their words He says—“Love such as ours Is in-between mortals and gods And I have not been fair with you, But I fear the Goddess of Love Will test you And seek your life If you should learn my name Or see my face this night. But before you decide, Let us once more embrace To cherish this moment forever For love annihilates time And all barriers separating human and divine Melt within its fires.” Surely, my Beloved is Love Divine I become the Earth And he becomes the Sky A lotus of silvery light Blossoms in the night And I its perfume, Its fragrance, With this love, this song, I fertilize the stars As I hold him in my arms. Within my belly A pool, cool and magnetic, Captures the moon’s light As my hands slide Slippery and moist Over every inch of his body May this night have no end I rise again His lips, his tongue The tides of my desire respond I am the rain falling upon leaves, trees, Slipping through mountain meadows, ravines, To fall into the streams Suddenly, throbbing for release, Saturated, overflowing with burning need Hurling through my body a flashflood I explode over falls Pools deep and serene Can not contain me His body An electrical storm within my dreams Lights the darkness where I wander My hunger now whirls and turns At his touch His lips devour me, Were I to join with the sea Were I to contain the stars in my embrace I would still trade my freedom to see his face Darkness can not bind a love such as this No god or goddess can constrain this bliss. My Beloved, You are the spark at the center of my being At your touch I become the whirlwind upon the seas And this blossom of lunar light Within my belly Its petals open to embrace your heart, More enduring than any constellation Our love is a pathway to Eternity. Light born from fire I clasp you tighter My breasts burn at your touch, My tenderness Soft and soothing Caressing Drops of honey This nectar an elixir An intoxication without end I drink your lips The wine of passion I savor, I sip, I rise again upon your love The ache taking flight The cold shivering shining with light I drop my head back I draw closer, I press down I dissolve into a place Thoughts may not enter But here you are joined with me forever I no longer know who I am Except a path of love that has no end And I will travel it— I meet the Queen of Death, Darkness, and Night Spellbound, enthralled She offers me her gift of immortality To celebrate our love— My Beloved, Every desire and need Every path and destiny Return again to be revived To savor the light within your eyes To taste the Joy within your heart To drink the beauty of this night As I hold you in my arms. Back to Index *       *       * Sex Sexuality is a beauty unfathomable Its wonder beyond human reach Though you can see it walk and touch its strength Feel it and taste it Hear its voice speak Its power is mysterious Like lightning lighting up the night The polarity generating the strike Remains concealed In magnetic currents flowing Within the cloud and the ground In an invisible striving To grasp and clasp each other— Beauty, from the unmanifest, the hidden, From darkness wraps itself In the first rays of the sun Reaching out, its fingers, Softer than the wind, Glide upon my skin at dawn I awaken in the arms of love And know not what Spirit to worship— Though the names of God are well-known His attributes delineated with diligence Both subtle and profound The Creator of this wonder remains unknown Except within my heart More thin than the strand of a spider’s yarn, A filament, like a lute string, Begins to burn with a light Without beginning or end, When I kiss your lips All life, every heartbeat, every breath Sound within the silent depths of my heart, Thunder, the hurricane, the earthquake, The mountain that explodes in fire— All of nature wishes to serve the purposes of love— Letting go of their terrifying hold Of their raging craving to devour Earth, air, fire and water Willingly yield me their power As they curl up and fall asleep in my palms, Your eyes are the mirror where the stars linger Unable to escape attraction so magnificent They seek you when they wish to renew Their dreams of peace, As your chest rises and falls Your heartbeat calls It captures my soul in its song, The universe is a wilderness, A desert where I wander lost and alone, Until you appear Your body an oasis I drink from your waters of life As I rest my head on your breasts. Back to Index *       *       * Stargazing is not a particularly hot topic these days though it is still possible to find someone such as an American Indian who practices this art. But in another age, if you herded sheep or were an astrologer or an astronomer, you might have enjoyed stargazing. The procedure is rather simple. You sit out under the sky at night and pick one star. Then you gaze at it without any thoughts or distractions. And then, when you are ready, you let the light from that star enter and fill your entire body with its vibration as if your body is an empty vessel designed to be filled with light. Then you notice the impressions, images, thoughts, and feelings which come to you.

One night I said to my wife during a walk, pick any star in the sky and I will tell you its songs and the specific magick it contains. This poem was written in a similar vein. Note—the stars in the four corners of Orion are from the top left of letter “K” which is Orion moving clockwise Betelgeuse, Bellitrix, Rigel, and Kappa Orionis. Orion She disrobes, lies down on her belly, And asks me to stoke her back As I caress her I climb a hillside in a thick fog A cold mist walks inside my body I shiver, her skin is so smooth I lose my way as the mist swirls about my hips The forest dim and barely lit I fall into an icy stream I sink down and am lost within her bliss. As I caress her back My palms burst into the cold, wet flames Of Bellitrix, glittering blue, luminous, I am suspended outside time I am suspended within a liquid diamond Whose heart is so precious, so fine I would linger here forever And not depart Did not the heart of my Beloved Bid me return For her heart shines brighter More clearly, And with a greater love. Having invaded his territory Orion puts his hand on my shoulder The Hunter calls out my name He asks me, “Brother, what is your quest?” I answer him thus: “The highest love permitted to those in mortal form.” Then he gazes into my eyes with furious courage A hunger deep in his belly striving against his will And he says: “Then may you never be alone. There are places between the stars Where one heart may not sojourn.” As I caress her back Rigel greets me and whispers in my ear, I slip inside a spruce tree that stands all year Amid a mountain slope’s white snows The voice within the tree sings to me Of clouds drifting upon the wind Of the sky freezing to stone with Purple, vermilion, orange, turquoise bands upon its head And Rigel whispers—“I give to you the soul of fire Blazing within jewels emerald, amethyst, opal I give to you the secrets hidden in spiraling towers Amid civilizations lost and futures unborn, I give you eyes which see through The stony mists of time And the lost hillsides of the mind. As I caress her back time A red hummingbird with wings of green Lights upon my wrist, his claws tickling my skin His eyes lock onto mine And he sings Yielding his spirit into me-- Each moment dividing into tiny segments My entire arm pulsating with his passion To turn the world with its colors and scents Its tastes and its sounds Into a whirlwind of pure sensations And he to hover within the eye of time To drink in its nectar I taste with him The flower’s elixir Its sweetness spilling over into my being. As I caress her back My hand is upon the helm, the varnished oak tiller Pulsating as the bow plunders the waves I guide the craft closer to the wind The draft of the sail set as smooth as a bird’s wing The smell of the ocean air The dreams born amid the sparkling waves of the sea She yields her body to me My palm the warm song of the summer sun Sinking into green leaves. As I caress her skin It is I who am blinded by the dazzling light Igniting beneath my palm as her skin begins to flush Her body shivers in rapture at my touch An approaching colossal wave From distant galaxies raging wild amid celestial storms Drains away my consciousness My mind sinks down behind my tongue, my chin Through my neck, my chest, and down further into my belly Raging currents carry me into the center of her body Our hearts begin to merge A blue giant and a dense red sun collide I witness the birth of love Separation is now the illusion A new light appears where once there was none. As I caress her The backs of my fingers trailing My hand enfolding her skin Kappa Orionis pours his soul into mine Great Pilgrim All that is Divine pays homage to the Gateway he commands His magical name—Cosmic Humility His pathway leads me Through the center of my body And seven stars flow free Joining in wild and terrible ecstasy. As I caress her skin my hands flowing upon her shoulders, The sides of her chest, the edges of her breasts, A soul from Betelgeuse takes me by the hand I enter the place where the stars themselves go to lie down, To sleep, to rest, to be renewed. Prajnaparamita, the cosmic mother, offers me her vajra And whispers this stars magical name-- “The jewel that shines with Eternity, She who hold the dream of the universe within her heart. The waves of this sea are blue green And each sparkles and glimmers lit by an invisible sun Each star is a separate note And this I would sing: the Song of the Universe Unfolding, And having begun my task I will not falter, cease, nor pause Till every empty place vibrates with the love Which flows from the One Light Through my body, soul, and heart. Who is this woman with whom my hands have offered love In the tenderness of the night? Is she not the soul men are meant To find and call forth, awaken And yes, to create and sing into being Hidden within every women? But if I assert my point Do I not make a mockery of human love Trading reality for dreamy visions? I think not, Though many think I am a fool To awake during the night As though to lead a hunting partner Out into a dark and unknown land To raid, to plunder, to steal, and to command With more skill and daring Than any Thief, Warrior, Magician, or King The starry mysteries with my fingers and palms As she lies next to me and my hands caress her skin. Yet every night the stars Come forth and bid each one of us To open our hearts Listen! Your eyes and your skin, Your heart knows what I am talking about And though they appear cold and distant Lanterns on ships and campfires on islands Sojourners, wanderers, wayfarers passing in the night Crossing over the sea Whose people we may never meet I bear witness-- Each star is an instrument in the hands of Love As they fuse, implode, and explode I taste their nectar I drink in their fragrance As they sing to me Their luminous dreams are my own As I caress and hold my love within my arms The passion in this night Overflows and spills across the world With beauty and ecstasy unbound. Back to Index *       *       * I was listening to a local singer, Melinda Carol, singing "What Child Is This?" Though Christians imagine Christ to have completed everything, to be the beginning and the end, he does not inspire me in that way.   He is quite willing to act as a guide who empowers me to fulfill my own spiritual journey, to engage in my own process of discovery. This poem and the following are from the story, The Bard. The first is written by a man and the second by a woman. They are statements of the desire to capture human and divine love within one experience. A Celtic Prayer I am the spider whose web Captures the jewels which contain eternity. I am the bird who worships Dawn Yielding his being into rapture of song. I am the claws of the Hawk And his eye searching with cobalt will. I am the wind— The gust that twirls the leaf And the wild hurricane clasping the ocean close to my breast. In my cup is gathered the distilled essence of all the stars My wand is forged in the fiery caldron of volcanoes And with it I give birth to new worlds. I have learned the language of angels Meditating in ancient stone circles And there the goddess Dawn whispers to me— She wishes to give her heart To the One the Starry Pole controls That the young and the new might again Walk hand in hand with the Mysteries. Even so, my beloved, I seek to be one with you That all things might be fulfilled And fallen, fallen light renewed. Patient as the Earth I endure this winter of the soul. Back to Index *       *       * This poem was written under the influence of Ubarim, a great spirit of love within the sign of Taurus in the Earthzone. A Request I seek another to celebrate with me The boundless light saturating the universe with its love. It is in the wind whose voice and wings Embrace the cells within our bodies And the shoulders of the mountains. It is in the oceans, the rain, the rivers Whose songs of grace and receptive life Sail through our dreams And touch the secret chambers of our hearts. It is in the Earth— She whose silence shelters and protects us Until we are ready to assume our roles As guides, guardians, and creators of life. It is in fire whose dazzling force and power Binds the universe with its might And guides our wills as we chart our courses through life. I will join my spirit with yours, Let our hearts be one Our minds merging and blending— As light penetrates And is one with the crystal it passes through. Come with me on this path of beauty It originates in the stillness At the center of the heart Where all fear is banished— It overcomes all time and space Renewing itself without end As it celebrates the joy, the rapture, And the boundless life hidden within all things. Back to Index *       *       * I wrote this poem after meditating with Aziel, the ninth spirit of the sphere of Mercury.
     One of the nice things about working with divine spirits is that they have these incredibly clear perceptions about the purposes of life and the level of creativity to which we are all meant to attain.
     A koan is one of those questions Zen masters use to trick their students into becoming more enlightened. A local Zen master spent fifteen years trying to solve his first koan but he finally did. Perhaps each of us has a life koan, a question not assigned to us by a Zen master but by Life. Like a Zen koan, it is not answered by the mind but by the heart. This poem is my answer to my life koan. My Life Koan What is the source of love within you Which heals the wounds of your heart? My mind is the sky-- Pure, clear, and open Its air flows through my chest Its winds are my breath My body is the Earth-- In me, Her Silence and endurance reach consciousness Like Her, I shelter and I protect I am one of Her fruits I am the strength and nourishment upon which others thrive The oceans are my magnetism and love Rivers my bloodstream Rain my moist fluids Lightning my heartbeat Thunder my voice I am life sustaining and giving birth to life The volcano and magma at the center of the earth Are my will and power unfolding I burn, I consume, I destroy Yet I heal the broken heart And bring joy and excitement to life The turning of the seasons The circle of the stars dancing I am Eternity uniting with time I am the nobility of the sun Its inner union and fusion of opposites And through its light My Song streams forth to the ends of the universe I am the serenity of the moon Fluid, malleable, and changing I am harsh, cold, and empty I choose the place of your birth I am warm, sweet, and nurturing I reunite what is lost All dreams arise from my light I am tenderness overflowing from the heart I am within and I awaken The seeds of spirit hidden within all things I am the Celebration of Life I am the deepest peace within the soul I only exist to reveal the gifts Which otherwise remain unknown And there is no where I will not go To bless or join with those who love. Back to Index *       *       *

The cosmic language is one of those fascinating magical practices which introduce the building blocks through which time, space, spirit, matter, and history are created. Part of the practice is learning to identify with Divine Providence not as something out there but as something alive within yourself. It is the light and vibration through which God creates creation. I wrote the following two poems when practicing with these respective cosmic letters UE and U.

The Cosmic Letter UE I am the benevolence of Divine Providence I create, I inspire, I guide I make all things anew in the fullness of time I am the wish-fulfilling gem I satisfy your deepest cravings And reveal your highest path to perfection I am the mysterious nexus: Through my soul pass The most obscure forces Holding history in their grasp I alter molecular vibrations with my touch Amid your worst nightmare, Your greatest fear, Your obstacles Impenetrable and severe I open the gateway to freedom Who Celebrates these things: The beauty of the earth and sky uniting The tossing and turning of the seasons in wild passion And this also: The vast, unknown reaches Within a heart without hope-- Swirling cosmic dust Giving birth to stars Out of the dark womb of infinite space My wealth is the joining Of matter and spirit without limit And my consort is the fire Illuminating the world with universal love. Back to Index * * * The Cosmic Letter U There is no vice I can not twist or bend And make again into its opposite virtue There is no compulsion or obsession I can not So fill with light it becomes kind and bright There is no ill will or malice I can not Convert into chivalry or true nobility There is no crunch or karmic bind, no evil intent or design I can not refine within my mind Into contentment and absolute satisfaction There is no suffering I can not so enfold within my palms Spit on, blow upon And recreate as beauty hidden in the heart of life Such is my power and might Such are the depths and the heights Where my wings fly But there is a difference you see Between you and me When you breathe in You nourish your body And expel your doubts But in one breath I consume entire lifetimes: Grasping the horns of sorrow I flex my will Gather my strength And play songs of joy. Back to Index * * * This poem is written by Baleem, the character in the Old Testament who could speak more easily to God than Moses or Daniel. Unfortunately, he had a character flaw—like King Solomon whose mother betrayed her first husband. Solomon never got over his distrust of women (and he says as much in his Book of Proverbs) and so he was never able to join with and fully celebrate the purposes of love. Song of Baleem God said to Baleem, You have come so far in search of Me Beyond all others on earth But if you would taste My Mystery Know my inner being, feel my essence flow through your veins: Love me as the sky loves the stars Love without barriers or boundaries Forever offering light a place to shine Love me as eternity loves time The hours, the days, the seasons, the ages, the eons I am in every moment, every breath, every heartbeat, every caress Love me as the earth loves life The mountains, the trees, the lakes, the seas They nourish and provide They offer all beings a place to abide Love me as fire loves air As a lover inhaling Savors the fragrance of the Beloved The other’s heart the fuel, the spark Consuming until only ecstasy remains Love me as the lightningbolt strikes In the darkness of the night Be my voice Unite the heaven and the earth Speak with a tongue of power Which can ignite in others The desire to behold the beauty of the universe Baleem replied, How can you ask such a thing of me? I am troubled even by the sight of women From my youth, for my whole life, Their beauty has terrified my soul Their splendor annihilates my peace Nights I endure unbearable pain Loneliness stalks me like an assassin After searching for decades After studying all wisdom on earth I am left with only emptiness I can not find this beauty within myself God replied, It is I who have created the earth and the sky The volcano with its streams of molten rock The void, the abyss, the chasm, the emptiness All of these are a part of My Art I have created desire And paths of wonder to reveal My Mystery Say not to me—the universe is a terrifying place Beauty is unbearable And I can not find my opposite within myself Say rather: Teach me the Divine Arts That I might create as You do, When I sing songs of praise May I speak with a voice of wonder That I might be one With the mysteries I celebrate So that all that I touch Be filled with beauty, love, and power. Baleem replied, How can two love each other Except they each have their own wells from which to drink? If your love touched me for even an instant There would be nothing left Neither dust nor breath If I were to taste your bliss I would cease to exist No man on earth can endure the love of which You speak. Back to Index * * * I wrote this poem while meditating with a spirit of the sphere of Mercury named JahHel. JahHel taught me how to sit and meditate for hours without noticing time flowing by. I feel an incredible affinity for JahHel. At the first contact, he was like someone I had known for many years. It is, consequently, very easy for me to imagine how someone like Jacob might actually meet and seek to obtain a blessing from such a being.

Jacob's Angel Grasping a better hold as he wrestled with the angel, Balanced, poised, muscles flexed, teeth clenched, Jacob spoke, his jaw next to the angel’s ear: “What is it to dwell in a body made of divine fire Its very radiance so penetrating The mountains and seas are transparent And the stars are no more distant from you Than my hands upon your skin in this moment? “And what is it to have eyes that see through the ages The gates of all realms stand open before your gaze So nothing is hidden anywhere in creation? What is it to have hands so luminous The Divine turns to you to accomplish its will? “And tell me, when you love, What is it like to love when your love Arises from a sea of infinite bliss So every abyss is filled And darkness is forever banished from your vision?” And the angel replied: “I will share with you my essence If you can sustain this hold upon me And bind me without fear For I am not permitted to keep even one secret From those who master themselves. I am the perfection of concentration so great The elements of nature obey when I speak. Earth, air, water, and fire respond to my will My every desire to fulfill. “You may think such power beyond belief or imagination But I do not act in isolation As one wanting to make himself great To demonstrate his power over fate. When I meditate I am embraced By countless beings of love and might Who guard and guide all paths of wisdom and all evolutions, With both mortal and divine I join my heart and mind I unite with all who celebrate the Light Embracing all of creation. And in our celebration Our joy is so great There is no longer any separation Between the Light we embrace and the love within our hearts. “You may think only an angel may speak thus But I tell you with words of prophecy And with a voice of thunder and a tongue of divine fire, If you strive and abide with me through all watches of this night Until dawn’s first light You shall discover that I, with all my power, Am but a small part of your own heart." Jacob said: “You speak of a mystery beyond the power of belief. It is more than what I seek.” “Oh Jacob,” the angel said, “The seed which dreams of spring Sleeping in silence beneath the earth Knows not that spring is already within its heart As is the soil, the wind, the rain, the earth And the star that calls out: Arise and come forth. "But form and limitation have been created That the seed in growing into a tree Might one day understand its journey And as water, minerals, light, and air Revive and renew its being It shall perceive when the time is ripe That life has no end And that form is but the shell where spirit dwells. " Then it shall send its roots down into eternity And release upon the wind seeds Giving birth to new worlds, new dreams, new destinies. The soul unfolds, blossoming in due season, Until its beauty shines so bright Its light transforms the world. "Jacob, behold! I hold in my hands The twelve fruits of the Tree of Life Which are for the healing of the nations. Take them from me if you can!” Then Jacob put forth all his might With a mind like steel And a will as sharp as a diamond knife To pierce the heart of the angel And to steal what has been concealed from mankind for ages. And, for a moment, Jacob accomplished his goal: Jacob’s eyes became the angel’s, his hands bright like the sun, Their hearts merged and with the angel’s body he was one. Then Jacob saw what the angel’s light Was created both to conceal and to reveal: A love of such magnitude The entire multitude of heavenly choirs falter and fail Their voice silenced before its magnificence. Then Jacob asked, “Is there a human being in all the world Who has the strength, the power, or the heart to persist In a vision such as this, to bring a small part Back to the earth that it might be shared And celebrated forever by those who love?” And angel replied, “If this is your wish I shall grant it For now the sun is about to come And eternity commands me: Return home." And then the angel spoke with a voice of thunder Resonate and tender like Gabriel’s Vibrant and mighty like Michael’s Saying, "The history of the world Shall revolve around your will. Nations shall rise and fall in this quest. Though some would twist and bend it to their own ends Those who read the signs shall find a pathway to the divine As you have found mine.” Then Jacob said, “Wait! One last request before you go, One last question still burns within my soul: You who are everywhere and from whom nothing is hidden, Your voice a billion stars shouting with delight, Will you wrestle with me again another night?” The angel gazed into Jacob’s eyes and then replied, “Within you is the answer to your own question. As I have said, I am but a small part of your own heart.” Back to Index * * * This poem belongs to the story, Vittana, an ancient Bard who once walked upon the earth. The Goddess of the Earth One day I met The Goddess of the Earth. She said to me, “Your desires for love are the same as my dreams— To have children who see through the eyes of the stars Who fuse in their hearts all opposites, The constellations themselves into one Song of Love. "Therefore, By the power of desires and dreams By the power of My own being By the power of earth, air, fire, and water Who are also my children— "Nothing shall bind nor limit your voice Neither in the heavens above, upon the earth, nor beneath. You shall cross over all boundaries So that others may hear as you hear The Songs the universe sings. "And one day during your journey I will give you another as your lover That you may taste my own delight and surprise (Which I felt that day Your art found its way Into the secret chambers of my heart). She will say to you these words, 'I will die and be reborn for you,' Even as many times you yourself have died And been reborn listening to sing My Songs." Back to Index * * * Tibetan Buddhists have elaborate paintings or Yidams of various beings who are embodiments of the enlightened mind. I, however, often run into spirits who disguise themselves as human beings. This poem expresses the inner spirit of a woman I know. The Goddess of Compassion She meets me within a dream She says, “Whatever you desire I will give I will yield to you all that I am I am more willing than night To shine with the stars’ light I am more ready than Dawn To wake you and enfold you in my arms.” And then Like breath she slips inside my body Like mead she wets my lips and wanders down my tongue. She says, “For passion I will be a circle of fire With my heart at the center For longing I will be a cool mountain stream Singing to you of innocent and purity And in your search for another I will be the one who finds you, touches you, And takes away your pain. "Kiss my lips Arouse me Take me to a mountain cliff I will fall into your hunger. Be the abyss I will be swallowed by your desire Sail with me on the ocean I will sink into your bliss And like the waves of the sea I will caress you endlessly. "Be the candle I will be the flame I will light your way through the darkness Be a silver cup Contain my feminine essence I will be the wine I will dip your blade Within pure ecstasy I receive your masculinity Your electric needs dance Through the center of my body I burn, turn, and rise I revolve, circle, and cry I enfold your will with my love. “In my eyes You see the moonlight on lakes, seas, and streams You hear the birds singing at dawn You smell the plum and cherry blossoms With drops of rain still sprinkling from the leaves You taste a tangerine. As your firm body presses my soft belly And though my embrace is tender, kind, and sweet My love penetrates you to the depths Through every cell and fiber of your being I dissolve your loneliness Now you know who I am— "I am the Goddess of Compassion And this is what I teach: The body and soul are one circle of love Erotic delight and sensual ecstasy Are at the center of the heart And there is nothing that exists That is not a part of my bliss." Back to Index * * * This poem belongs to the story, St. Columba. St. Columba was a Irish bard and also a Christian priest during the sixth century. For two hundred years, the Celtic Church was autonomous and free of any outside authority which forbade seeking God within. But such freedom comes with a great price—you have to face the unknown depths within yourself without help or support if you wish to reveal to the world the love which is at the center of your heart. I wrote this poem while listening to that wonderful violin instrumental at the end of the movie, The Last of the Mohicans. A Psalm of Praise (To St. Columba) Who will proclaim The beauty of the heavens and the earth? Whose voice will sing Of our sacred journeys in quest of the Divine? And who, I ask, will continue forever Until the heart of God is found? Oh Lord The nerves in my body Are the strings of Your harp And You do play upon them My pain is deep The notes You pluck with your fingers Lead me through horror and hell They annihilate my soul I pass through flames of despair Burning In absolute terror I cry. But your fingers play on They pause not nor hesitate So skilled are You You call forth from emptiness and the abyss From the darkest place that exists A Song of Bliss I am reborn through Your Love. Yet you penetrate further—to the core of my being Beyond my imagination or power of mind to comprehend To steal from me all that I am. You are the Thief whose purpose is Love. You hold me in the palm of Your hands. I pass before Your eyes Naked and alone, abandoned I cry out again Yet You will not be satisfied Until you make me part of Your Art of Creation Lord of the universe Where is this place you lead me But the center of Your own heart? Countless stars whirling in space Flaming orbs dazzling bright On countless worlds at dawn Birds sing in praise of Your Glory Who can contain such Joy? And yet You play on As the sower threads the eye of the needle You lead me Through the center of every heart in creation To show me that light and darkness Suffering and joy Separation and reunion Are the threads of a tapestry You weave into a Song of Beauty so great The universe aches And strives with all its might To awake, to rise up To lift up its voice and sing with Your own I can no longer distinguish pain from Ecstasy I open my mouth to speak, to cry aloud But no sound comes forth— Nothing of myself remains Only Your Song, I ask of You, my Creator, only this: May Your hands never cease From playing upon these strings For I awake, I rise up From ashes, from nothingness To walk by Your side Through the dramas and pageantry of Creation I see through Your eyes And I, as with others, declare: All the earth is full of Your Glory. Back to Index * * *

This poem was given to me by Vehuiah, the first spirit of the sphere of Mercury. You see, we were having a discussion about faith and about God’s essence.

Vehuiah—What Is Like Unto God? What is like unto God? What breath can express His Presence? Whose voice can sing His songs? What created thing reflects His Essence? What image captures He form? What priest or sage can measure His mystery? What prophet or mage can comprehend His plans? Is their an artist anywhere in the universe, A sculptor whose hands are so skilled, He can create beauty like unto the beauty God creates on a billion billion worlds? Can the creature ever understand the Creator? But wait! Lovers are like this— They anoint each other with their bliss. Their souls embrace, their innermost essence they taste. There is nothing they hold back in the giving. Love is their breath, their voice, their song, and their art. Their love celebrates and partakes of God’s beauty. This wonder is at the heart of the universe— It is a pageantry like no other, A drama of immense suspense. Wisdom, power, and magick play only supporting parts. I impart faith, conviction, and the perfection of will So divine love might enter the earth. Back to Index * * * Ebvep is one of the spirits of the lunar sphere. For Ebvep She said to me, I want to fill your will inside me I want your desire to arouse me I want burn with your yearning until nothing is left Except the scent of your love Carried by the winds of my heart. Back to Index * * * Franz Bardon considers Hagiel to be the chief goddess of the sphere of Venus. I wrote this poem while meditating with her . My Consort—To Hagiel My consort is cosmic love She is so relaxed, light, and free Kissing her is so easy, so inviting, so enticing I feel we have never been separate That nothing else exists Loving her is so soft, tender, and sweet When she smiles her eyes reflect laughter And the silent fires of starlight Our chests rise and fall as one breath As one heartbeat pulsing through two bodies This place within my heart I could never find Without the feel of her body against mine— If the sky had no stars If the sun and moon were dark If the beauty of the world were suddenly to depart It would matter not We could still create the world anew From the love within our hearts: The radiance of light blue—the vastness of the sky— Is the laughter in her eyes The waters of the earth, the oceans, streams, and lakes, Just one of her tears creates My mouth, the sensual touch of my tongue on her breasts And the mountains, hills, and valleys, The ravines, the deserts’ thirst for falling rain— The earth is her body naked, receptive, and nurturing. I love her. You can see the fire of my desire In the first light of dawn— In the rippling edge of emptiness where the stars are born. When I flex my muscles, when she encircles my will with her love, Mountains explode, Magma ascending from the center of the earth turns to stone That forests might take hold, flourish, and grow Beneath the light of the moon. If you could take all of nature and extract from it its beauty And then drink this elixir and attain immortality You would still not taste the bliss I taste when I hold her in my arms. Her passion is within all things Awakening them to seek and to dream new dreams Her love is a shoreless sea of ecstasy uniting time and eternity And I am her waves, her winds, And the currents flowing through her depths. Back to Index * * * A woman once said to me, “Write me a poem right now without pausing or hesitating.” And so without pausing I wrote her this poem to express the essence of who she is—she is like an incarnation of the Venus spirit named Gomah who is the goddess of all sacred journeys. Your Soul You are like clay in the hands of a sculptor, But who is this sculptor? This sculptor is the wind whose fingers are in our hair Whose breath is in our lungs Who softly penetrates the secret places of the soul Where fear itself fears to go. This sculptor is passion: and the clay flows between His fingers wet, soft, and yielding, All his mind, heart, and gaze are focused in his touch Curling, joining, molding, The clay becomes alive As it takes form fashioned with such care The desires of the heart join the image of the eye With the caress of the hand. This sculptor is love I see through Love’s eyes and your eyes both I see how your soul holds new life in itself Nurturing it so it may find a way to be born Darkness itself you turn into a path of beauty And through Her, the eyes of Love, The greater love which indwells your soul: I see that for Her Life is a sacred journey— It is not an ordeal But the Celebration of a Mystery In Her eyes both winter and spring are joined: Kindness is there. And also an invitation to cross over every boundary For the sake of love. Her eyes are both Summer and Fall Which are also in the kiss from Her lips: She will gladly fulfill every desire The body, heart, and spirit would know But also She offers the greatest secret of all: The knowledge and the pathway to join hearts with another And on this path, like the essence of Fall, We let go of who we are To join with a greater Beauty. There is art at work in your life, And this art is beauty, love, and sharing, A hug from you is like the flowers of Spring Exploding in tiny volcanic rainbows between my toes It is like drinking mead among a circle of friends On a sacred Isle during a cool summer night full of songs. It is like Fall and Twilight, the goddess who runs her fingers Through my hair teaching me how to let go, to flow, To step unafraid into a future unmade And your hug makes even winter into a friend, The winter of the soul becomes a time When the whiteness of snow And the barren branches standing naked in a cold North wind Feel nothing but joy as they scream at the top of their lungs— “I want to be naked and I want to love and to feel pain.” Yes, you are all the seasons rolled into one. You are the clay that is willing to allow itself To be molded by Love. I love you dear friend, May we be friends foreve Back to Index * * * Samhuinn, or Halloween, is the time of death and separation. It is opposite to Beltane—the time of love and joining. Each season of the year and stage of life has its own purposes to fulfill. This poem is from the story, St. Columba. Samhuinn When Death comes May I greet him with a smile As an old friend I know his work, his commission, I know how he guards zealously the sacred boundaries Separating the living and the dead I know these boundaries I have crossed over them For love I have died Entering darkness with no guide To search for another’s heart To join in the Celebration For which the universe was created— The stars by night are the same The same sun and moon do shine But the sea is different It has no shores It winds are dreams and visions Its waves are bliss and ecstasy Its depths contain Eternity And I have sailed upon it My craft rests by the dock Its sails ready to hoist, to set, to trim The helm awaits my hand Soul companions are my shipmates The fire of stars burning in their eyes The songs of the constellations Circle within their smiles Joy dances in their hearts But it is not my time to depart. My hands say, “These palms still contain seeds of light To be scattered upon the earth.” My lips and tongue say, “We taste the air— It stirs, it whispers, It hovers and drifts in restless gusts. The air is pregnant: Light and darkness The turning of the year The barriers separating all worlds grow faint The gateways now luminous— The eye clairvoyant The ear telepathic Touch clairsentient. The Earth Herself is here Waiting for Her children, To hear the Song— To feel the Fire To taste the Light To touch the Joy To embrace the Love At the center of our hearts At the center of the circle At the center of the universe.” Listen! Can you hear it? The sound of galaxies whirling, spinning, and colliding Sailing on celestial winds? The wind in the leaves of the trees The soft rustling The tender caress As sweet as any Lover Her fingers running through your hair? Who is like my Beloved? At her touch, The sun and moon dissolve Into a brighter light Day and night join as one The life animating plant, rock, animal, and tree Human and Divine being Returns to its source To the seed at the center of the heart. In a dark place Silence blossoms Revealing the distances separating and uniting all things— I hear the Song of the Universe In a solitude pregnant with love Distances are overcome And the stars draw near and greet me As an old friend Back to Index * * * An Essay--How to Write a Poem

The poetry I write is more a direct description of my experience in meditating than it is anything else.
Some have asked me to explain what it is I do. One method I use in writing my poems derives from
Eugene Gendlin's method called "focusing." (See Eugene T. Gendlin's book "Focusing" published by
Bantam Books, 1962).

There are six steps in Gendlin's method. 1. Put everything off to the side so you can focus on one
feeling or question. 2. Get a direct feeling from your body, an impression you can perceive in a concrete
manner, which accompanies your feeling or question. 3. Express this feeling specifically in an image, a
phrase, even as a geometric configuration of where the sensations or feelings are in your body.

4. Go back and forth between steps 2 and 3, that is, check and increase the accuracy of the image or
phrase so that there is a close correlation or "fit" between your body and your conscious representation of
where the sensations or feelings are in your body. 5. Allow now your entire body and soul to open to
what it is you have identified as "stuck" energy or feelings which are not flowing freely within yourself.
For example, ask, "What is behind this or underneath it?" This allows what is stuck finally to be
accepted and embraced by all that you are. 6. Give yourself a chance to process what you have
experienced. Let it become in some way a part of your life.

In so far as psychologists are occupied with the needs of the personality, Gendlin, typically, has an
individual ask, "What is keeping me from being happy right now?" There are a vast array of definitions
for what it is to be happy. Certainly, it is up to each of us to find for ourselves our own answers. There
is, however, a strong connection between our body and our feelings. When we feel full of energy, clear,
and open to what is happening within us, we are on the path of happiness. The body and feelings have an
immense advantage over the mind when it comes to discovering happiness. Let us explore an example of
a focusing session.

An individual might focus and notice a constriction or pain within his or her heart. Focusing further
to increase the accuracy, the shape and intensity of this feeling becomes more clear--it is then
characterized as a throbbing, even a burning sensation which carries within it a feeling of loss. The
sensation and the feeling of loss become, then, a "handle" one uses to open up the entire body and soul to
experience this stuck energy. Total, undivided attention is present along with the empathy which is willing
to enter into and feel all that is there. And the whole body stands ready to embrace and accept whatever
is discovered.

Asking, "What is this?" or "What is beneath this?" allows us to enter into an inner psychic space in
which we are purely attentive and receptive. New and original perceptions rather than old thoughts and
reactions can then be found. Empathy, love, and concentration are all present at once. The energy the
psyche has put forth to hold, contain, and to bury these feelings is now no longer needed. The rigid
barriers within the body are free to dissolve and the energy is free to move, to shape shift and be
transformed--to be integrated into the rest of our psyche rather than being separate and alone.

In this moment, however, we do not identify with our personality or familiar identity. No. If we want
integration, to be more open and clear, we need to identify consciously with the totality of who we are.
To do this, we must be willing to enter the unknown--to embrace that space at the center of our heart
where love encompasses all. It is from this place that the stuck and trapped energies and tensions within
ourselves dissolve and are then free to flow and move unobstructed.

Opening to our sensations and feelings, the loss is then discovered, in this case, to be rejection: the
withdrawal of love by others, the lack of acceptance, the way others have attacked rather than tried to
understand who we are. The inner tension around the heart is then perceived as arising from an attempt
to guard against others' hostility and lack of acceptance. In this "discovery" or insight, there is no longer a
need to defend oneself. The acceptance felt toward oneself in this case reaches out to others as well.
The body through opening and flowing with the movement of energy has found another way of relating to
the world.

The energy, then, “shifts” because the barriers holding it in place are no longer needed. The greater
resources belonging to the entire psyche are drawn upon. With this shift and change comes new insight.
And the tense, burning sensation with its feeling of loss is now gone. There is in its place a feeling of
delight, a sensation like water flowing down a stream.

Our task in the final step is to allow this insight to become a part of our life. Without receiving this
insight, it is easy for our more familiar but less dynamic routines, thoughts, and reactions to reassert
themselves. In this case, receiving this insight becomes a matter of holding the others in our hearts with
the same love and acceptance we have discovered we can offer to our self.

The most significant difference between what I do and what Gendlin does is that in step 5, in opening
to the energy or feeling, I use and flow into the energies of nature as the images in my poems testify. I
also, as a spheric magician, draw freely from the vast array of spirits Franz Bardon mentions in his book,
"The Practice of Magical Evocation. "This helps amplify my ability to explore and animate my
impressions. And it enables tensions within me which are much more collective, universal, or cosmic than
personal to be released and transformed.

As a psychologist, Gendlin's prime directive is to help others to adapt and to be successful in the social
world as it already exists. His emphasis is on the happiness and integration of the personality. A bardic
magician like myself has a different objective--it is to discover spiritual treasures and bear them back to
our world, in other words, to capture in poems the beauty of the universe.

My intent is not to adapt to but to comprehend and then to transform the world according to a vision.
Though I use Gendlin's method, I have modified it so that it is now a wand in the hands of a magician. I
chart, then, not just the integration of the personality, but the integration of the collective, global, and
cosmic psyche in my meditations.

The image or phrase I use as a "handle" on the energy I am experiencing within my body turns into
part of the poem I write. In the poem, I pass into a void. I move beyond the boundaries of the world in
quest of the harmony and beauty I seek. The entire poem, then, is a record of this journey I have
followed on paths of soul and spirit.

To avoid excessive explanations, I will begin writing a poem and talk about it as it unfolds. I am
listening to a song by Karen Matheson from the soundtrack of the movie Rob Roy. The song is Ailein
Duinn. This song is in another language and though I do not have a translation, I notice there is
something in Karen's voice which I wish to explore--Karen sings from her heart and in her heart there is a
love which encompasses vast distances and places of isolation. She accomplishes something as she sings
which I have not learned to do within myself—to unite sorrow, loss, and loneliness with beauty.

The heart has this power--to hold all of our experiences in life within a place where stillness and love
are joined. I want to enter this place, to join with this source, that this light might shine within myself as
well. This will not be easy for me. One of the qualities of love is that it seeks to flow through the very
core of another's being. The oneness offered is immense.

But this flow is not without a price. In its quest for intimacy and oneness, this love inevitably enters
every sealed room where frightening secrets have been hidden away, every chamber where horrors and
terrors have been bound and stowed--the flow of love breaks all barriers down. Love creates a magical
circle. It weaves together all that is within the life and experience of both individuals. For this love
(which I perceive as I listen to Karen's voice) to flow within myself, I must pass through the darkness that
exists within me.

Listening to Karen's singing, I open myself completely as a bardic magician. I become the silence
which carries the notes of her voice. I become the darkness willing to allow the light and all the images
within her mind to shine forth. I bear the tension her heart embraces. I am the willingness that feels what
she is feelings. I am the stillness so complete her entire being--without diminishing, without a trace of my
desires and needs—is allowed to appear here. I am the mirror willing to reflect without distortion her soul
and her spirit within myself.

And yet, though the mirror is empty, it also seeks to hear what her voice has to say to me personally.
The tradition of the troubadour asserts that union with God or Goddess can not be attained, can not be
experienced in full, until it is first seen and experienced through the heart of another. There is a path of
transformation her voice leads me upon. This path leads both through her and through myself. Upon this
path we are not separate. This is a path of love and upon it there are moments when all that exists is
union, oneness, and bliss.

This is not a wish or a fabrication, for love in its essence contains this mystery--only in love can we
undergo transformation without knowing where were are going or who it is we are becoming. Love offers
us this union that we might find and enter the sacred gate leading to the enlightenment of the world.

Listening to Karen's voice, my body is now gone. The surrounding world is no longer here. I would
listen in this moment so completely that my mind is like the sky, my feelings the sea, and my body as
quiet and patient as the mountain.

My listening becomes the mirror so clear that her love, heart, and soul can appear within it not just as
an image or representation seen at a distance. I allow the magic in her voice and song to create in me the
very source of life inspiring her. The feelings and energy within her song now begin to appear within me.
They are able to move freely drawing upon all that I am and all that I have ever experienced.

In this listening space, her heart is now free to speak directly to my own. This is communication from
one heart to another heart. This is a dialogue between two souls involving our entire being.

In her voice I find a love so pure I can feel it now flowing around my fingertips--a cool wind flows in
the evening before the moon rises. The air is liquid. It brushes through my hair. Standing behind me, I
feel her hands on my shoulders. I am protected by her love, sheltered by her heart. She offers me her
own heart and soul that I might know my own better--again, this is not my wish or hope. This power to
join and offer support is precisely the essence of her own soul which she is sharing in her song.

The wounds within myself, the pain and anguish, they are strings upon a lute and she reaches to touch
them with hands of compassion and healing. Her song and her heart from which it arises walk with me
right now by my side through the darkest places of my lie--places I can see, I can visit easily, but which I
have not been able to share with anyone else. I feel her love as an actual energy moving through me.

As I listen to her voice I sense the reason that this healing power is within her is that she is willing to
become the Earth. Within her eyes, within her heart, she too would bear, endure, and nourish all so they
may come forth in their own time, in their own way, and be reborn, transforming and attaining all that
they were ever meant to be. I feel that grace, that acceptance, that love within her heart as her voice
speaks to me.

With Karen's presence and heart clearly here with me, as liquid energy streaming through my body, I
visit again those places in my life where I was indeed lost and lonely--so lonely I felt I had died, or that
awakening within a dream, I turned and looked around myself and saw a million broken hearts silent and
unable to speak. But Karen remains by my side as I enter this dark place.

Still, this is not easy to do. In this moment, as I hold a cassette player in my hand, my thumb hesitates
to push the play button and again listen to her song. The pain is overwhelming. It washes through my
body like an undertow striving to tear apart my identity and carry it off. The pain is so total it feels that in
entering it there is no way out. The pain weighs me down.

There is a place of lostness within me so vast it is like a dream from which part of myself has never
awakened. I hesitate to enter lest even more be taken away from me than before. But tracing the images
I am actually seeing in this moment, I write these words to the poem having spent many years walking
alone through deserts, forests, and mountainsides:

Does the mountain stream cry As its source--the clouds— Drift off into other skies? Do its falls weep in sorrow and loss? Does it pause silently in its pools Its depths dreaming of endless loneliness before flowing on? If my answer is "No,” Can I persuade my heart otherwise? Your voice walks beside me Through these mountains, deserts, and forests Where, though breathing, seeing, and dreaming, I feel I have died Because love has left my life behind.

Clearly, I can enter, as in a walking dream, these moments of immense tension which I have experienced
before. I am there now. I have invaded the past. I am who I once was. But to be here is to experience
a numbness which can not feel, a sorrow which does not release.

But Karen's voice is here with me also. She says to me, "You can feel. It does release. I am able to
experience here and now all that you are going through. You are within my heart and my love flows
through your soul."

I feel the mountain pools and the streams again. I am one with them. And I feel the clouds moving
on just as love having propelled me forward on my path of life then turned away from me and left me
alone. But she is within the pools and the streams as well. Karen's voice, like a magician's, evokes within
me the love which exists within this very moment within her heart.

And so in my body where I feel the tension, the numbness, the pain, I feel her energy flowing also
through me. Her energy has become my own. I could sit here for years by myself doing focusing and
still this energy would never release. But in listening carefully I have allowed the heart of another to
infuse my own heart with new life even amid this wilderness. And so I write:

But your voice reshapes my life In your song I hear you say, “This pool you see It dreams of clouds and seas But its still waters reflect more— The stars dwelling in the vast expanse of space Their songs of Joy take eons of time Each others’ hearts of find And yet they are all joined as one As your heart and mine Within this moment Within this poem Flow as one stream of love. The child understands not the words Understands not the reasons for its suffering But the mother is there to comfort She holds him within her arms In my waters cool and deep Rest and sleep Let go Be released And yet expand also—

"There are places within us which are so vast, so empty of human companionship, that to enter them is to
risk losing our understanding of who we are. But these places as well are part of an even richer and more
wonderful world--they are a part of the Soul of the Earth. Here are found all the treasures of spirit the
human race has ever known and will ever discover.

Karen, with her heart of gold, leads me on paths through this wilderness of the soul. I am no longer
within what is called the collective unconscious. I am not supported by the wisdom of any culture on
earth. I have entered the domain of what is better called the global or cosmic unconscious. Here water
itself testifies to that aspect of Divinity which it embodies--universal and comic love. Because the
magnetic powers within Karen's heart reflect and carry the Soul of the Earth itself, I am safe traveling
here. The desolation I once faced but could not bear, she has transformed through the willingness of her
heart to flow through my own with her love. She has given voice to the Life which infuses us all.

There are places of the spirit we may not enter without another by our side. There are
transformations we can not undergo unless another is there to guide us. I assert that the feminine soul has
the power within it to bear and give birth to any destiny human or divine. This is my experience as a
bard. This is why I am so attentive to the treasures found within the hearts of women. To the treasures
within the heart of this women I yield: I flow and let go and, entering into the mysteries of water itself and
the heart of nature, I write:

Dissolving Sinking down into your heart, your love I am now the underground stream Gently weaving through the caverns beneath the ground And I am curtains of rain sailing upon the wind I am the sea and the iceberg drifting The whale’s song echoes through my body As other whales listen a thousand miles distant I am the mist embracing the forest with her arms I am the grape on the vine As it ripens As it ferments into wine Capturing the lightning with its song Joining earth and sky The taste of the grape Sings of the treasure I have found within your heart: In the coldest, darkest place of emptiness Though invisible and unknown A fiery light still shines A heart still celebrates the Love Binding the universe with its might— From your heart to mine In this moment This flame is passed, And so I have come to see The stream, the falls, the pool and its dreams Fear not loss nor emptiness Nor the loneliness where the soul dissolves But flow as part of a Sea Whose Song is Infinite Love.

It is neither caprice nor exaggeration when I write the words, "Infinite Love." Karen's heart reflects the
Beauty of the universe even as the Soul of the Earth reflects within itself the spirit of the sun, moon, and
stars. I am now in the center of Karen's heart. I am one with the Source inspiring her. I move as spirit
and the spirit indwelling her fills me with its love.

This joining of spirits, this sharing from heart to heart, is not a method unknown to our world or in any
way inappropriate. It is not just troubadours and bards who imagine such things. In any serious spiritual
anthropology, shaktipat, guru yoga, and the transference of power from heart to heart, are the essence of
the teachings made real. Part of Tibetan Buddhism, e.g., in its method of initiation, is to enter and
experience the heart of the Dalai Lama. This is done in fact as part of the visualizations which are used
with a guru in many tantras.

Just for a moment, if you feel free, come with me. Visualize the Dalai Lama standing in front of you.
See his smile. Look into his eyes. This is not so difficult. You can imagine a friend you are close to. If
you visualize him or her right now in front of you and listen to words he or she might speak, you may be
able to "feel" something of the other's presence entering you, flowing through your body. This is the
same thing.

For a moment, become a dot of white light and flow into the heart of the Dalai Lama. Let the entire
universe for a moment be precisely what you feel and sense within his heart. Here is this moment is a sea
of compassion which is infinite. His heart contains worlds upon worlds all enfolded by the light of the
enlightened mind which he shares freely with others.

This field of energy of his heart is also like wind and water when they are gentle and kind and
nourishing. It is an open expanse which is inexhaustible. It is a sea of time where the mind discovers
itself to be a mirror clear, open, and luminous, a mirror whose very nature is compassion.

It is no wonder, then, that this same man repeats again and again, "As long as suffering remains to
sentient beings, I will remain to serve," or, "My only religion is kindness." These words epitomize the
essence of a sea of energy which his heart embraces. These words are spoken by one who would lay the
ground work for establishing on earth a genuine cosmic religion.

Karen's heart also touches on the universal and cosmic. Her magnetism is that of Venus: the
willingness to combine and join what is separate so that healing and beauty may be found, so that love
may be fulfilled. Listening to her voice singing Aileen Duinn, becoming the space where the light of her
soul can shine, I have entered a sea whose essence is Infinite Love.

In summary, when I listen to another or to a spirit for that matter, I listen with my entire being. When
I follow a feeling, like Orion in the sky, I am the eternal hunter. I move across all boundaries. I
overcome all barriers. Like others before me, I am a servant who is guided by the One Light which holds
the universe within its heart.

But put more simply, I enter a waking dream. In this dream, I taste, feel, perceive, hear, and touch
the energies which arise within the stillness of my heart. I allow them to appear, to use all of my life as
the strings of a lute which they are free to take and play any song upon of their own choosing.

Willing to be the earth and the sky, the seas, the volcano and the lightning, I become the source which
inspires the other's being so that I too might become transformed, so that the paths of the spirit might be
opened and shared with others.

Again, this is what bardic magicians do: we find treasures of soul and spirit and share them with the
world. Our meditation is the open space of the heart which we never cease exploring. Our poem or song
is a record of our journey, of what we have been permitted to bring back and share with the world. But
the poem is more than this. As is my experience when I listen to Karen singing, the poem/song is a
magical gate. The poem is a sigil drawn not with lines but with metaphors which evoke a spiritual
presence.

The poem is the blood of Divinity called forth by the bard's voice and carried by the wings of spirit. It
is the flame moving free and without obstruction from one heart to another heart. The poem is a joining,
a oneness of love creating that moment in which God and Goddess reach for and touch each other within
our hearts.

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