Preface:
“The love of a mermaid is heaven seventy times seven.”
The Tenth Man Rule (from the movie, World War Z): A Mossad agent (the tenth man) explains to Brad Pitt’s character why Israel was far more prepared for a zombie outbreak than the rest of the world. The reason was the 10th Man Rule.
He explained that Israel’s security council had 10 advisers that looked into big picture issues. If the first 9 dismissed an issue or potential danger to the country, then the 10th man was forced to overrule them on principle and look into the issue no matter how far-fetched the scenario. That way Israel would always be prepared for black swan events. This allowed them to build a large wall to help keep out the zombies.
I am my own "tenth man."
Top Ten Reasons A Man Should Not Marry A Mermaid
(these vary in each relationship)
10. You fall in love with her. But it seems everyone falls in love with her—children, other women, and way too many men. How annoying is that?
9. She loves you with all of her heart. But she loves everyone with all of her heart. How annoying is that?
8. You make love with her at night. But when she falls asleep and dreams she wakes up on the astral plane and makes love with all sorts of people. You can tell when this goes on. The bedroom glows with faint light and there is this feeling of being in a beautiful forest where the colors are a thousand times more bright than on earth.
7. Famous people like rock stars and surfers who are dead appear to her in the living room at all hours of the day and she has long conversations with them as if they are as real to her as you or me.
6. Special Forces invite you to join them because of your strength and agility. But if she gets pissed at you with the push of one hand she can throw you across the room and into the wall. And then she heals the huge bump on your head because she is sorry for acting so spontaneously.
5. When she gets excited electrical devices like computers and children’s toys turn on and off or the car may stop.
4. You experience physical withdrawal symptoms and acute anxiety or depression when you are away from her, like sixty feet away from her because of the “high” her aura exudes.
3. She does not “bond” to you. There are no special moments. If you are not with her she does not miss you. And even though she is the most loving woman with children and children all love her you know that if someone gave her the opportunity to return to her own mermaid realm she would leave you in that very instant.
2. She spends three hours every day completely immersed in the bathtub with only her mouth and nose above the water. Something about not living next to the ocean.
1. She has strange friends who call themselves things like star seeds, reptilians, dragons, walk ins, unicorns, silkies, salamanders, sylphs, gnomes, praying mantis, mermen, grays, wood elves, etc. What do I say when she introduces me to them, “Hi. How are you? I am just an ordinary human being.” — with Red Mahan.